THE SUN ON MY SKIN
by LovesJakeBlack
Summary: What happens when you suddenly come to the realization that the person that is standing right in front of you is the love of your life? There comes a point where heat, love and passion collide. ***Rated M for mature themes and Lemons*** CHAPTER 9 UP!
1. VEILED HUNGER

_**Due to popular demand I have started a Bella Jake fiction. Don't worry, I will not be abandoning The Club until I am properly done with it. This is just a little something that I have had in the back on my mind and wanted to finally put down on paper. I hope you enjoy it.**__**Please**__** don't forget to **__**review**__** and let me know what you think so far. Your reviews and comments mean so much to me. **_

**_Check out my profile homepage on here to see the picture which inspired this story. (There is a clickable link on my profile. ) _**

**_Here's the link: http(://) nikitajuice (.) deviantart (.)com/art/My-Jacob-153520450_**

_**All Twilight characters names are owned by Stephenie Meyer, I own nothing! This is just for recreational purposes.**_

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**VEILED HUNGER**

I was gasping for air, my hand clutched the covers to my body tightly. A bead of sweat formed on my forehead, I reached up and wiped it away, taking a deep shaky breath. I swallowed hard at the lump which had formed in the back of my throat.

"Oh my God." I whispered incredulously.

_His skin – so hot. His muscles – so hard. His lips – so wet, so soft._ I shifted my legs trying to ease some of the tension which had built between them. I couldn't stand it anymore, I sat up and reached over to the lamp on my nightstand, with a light click it turned on blinding me momentarily. I blinked once, twice and again trying to clear the fuzziness of sleep away.

_Dark russet skin shimmering with sweat, low moans and guttural grunts of pleasure_ echoed in my mind. I shook my head. Ok Bella, time for a cold shower.

I threw back the covers and marched into the bathroom. The shower curtain rolled to one side swiftly with a flick of my wrist and soon the cold water was on me, I yelped out as its coolness shocked my skin. There, that's a little better.

My teeth were chattering, I reached down and adjusted the temperature to warm, then a little hotter. _Hot – so hot_. _His skin was so incredibly and deliciously hot_. I closed my eyes and let the hot water spill over my face and onto my chest. _His tongue – lapping at my erect nipples._ My body ached. _His lips sucking gently_, I moaned out.

It was useless, I couldn't fight it anymore. I reached up and pulled the showerhead off of its cradle and brought it down to where my fire was burning the hottest. I moaned as the strong stream hit my clit – _fuck_ – _his tongue on my clit, his lips sucking it in firmly – urgently_.

I moaned out. "Ja-cob."

My body convulsed and released all of the pent up frustration that had been bottled up and sealed tightly for way too long.

As of late, I'd been dreaming a lot of Jacob Black. He was my best friend and knew me better than anyone else. He was the one that had helped me and brought me back to life when – when Edward had left me. It had been Five years since that happened.

Five long years without one word from any of the Cullens. It's like they had disappeared off of the face of the earth completely, just a distant memory in the back of my mind. I didn't even have a picture to keep their memory alive, it was as if they had _never existed_.

How very different things were now. There was a time in my life when all I could think of was being part of the Cullen family and giving myself completely to Edward. I was willing to give up my life as a mortal to follow my love for him, become a vampire, like him. But now that was just a memory almost completely erased and forgotten.

You never do forget your first love. There is a part of me that will always love Edward Cullen. He was the first person to touch my heart, my first love.

I washed up and turned the water off. I toweled off my body and hair, slipped on a terrycloth robe and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Opening the cupboard I pulled out the tea kettle and filled it with water, placing it on the stove to heat. I sat at the kitchen table propping my elbows up so I could rest my chin on my wrists.

The kettle popped and sizzled, I watched almost in a trance as the blue flames licked at the silver pot. _His hot tongue licking at my skin, his large strong hands gently caressing my most intimate folds._ I shook my head with a shiver. Ok Bella that's enough!

How was I ever going to face him after this? I – I needed to tell him, somehow about these feelings, but how?

Jacob has been amazing, the best really. He has watched over me and put up with all of my mental breakdowns through the last five years. Whenever I was in the dark, he was the light that brought me back to normalcy and blanketed me in comfort and safety.

The worst part about this all is that I knew, with every fiber of my being that Jacob wanted me too. He had laid that card out on the table a long time ago, a time when I wasn't ready for it to be dealt. Back then, when I was with _the one_ that shattered my heart and dreams when_ he_ left me.

I sighed, a deep broken sigh of frustration. My stomach tightened with the inevitable butterflies that followed each dream I had. Each dream taking my heart deeper and deeper. God I really need to get a grip. This is ridiculous, I'm being ridiculous.

There was a soft knock at the front door. My eyes shot up to the clock on the kitchen wall, 2:47AM, who in the world would be knocking at my door at almost three in the morning?

I walked to the door and turned the lock. With a turn of the handle, the door swung open to reveal Jacob's beautiful smile gleaming down at me. Of course it would be Jacob, no one in their right mind would be out this later.

"Hey Bells." He said chipperly.

"Hey Jake."

I took a moment to let my eyes roam over his half naked torso, my stomach clenched and I bit down nervously on my bottom lip. His skin was so perfect, his rippling muscles hard and defined. He was beautiful.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" He peeked his head in the door and took a quick look around. "You didn't have company over or anything, right?"

"No – no, not at all." I welcomed the distraction of his questions. "Come in, it's freezing."

I felt a chill run through my whole body, I quickly wrapped my arms around my chest in a feeble attempt at sheltering myself from the cold night wind.

"Oh – right." Jacob stepped in quickly and shut the door behind him. "Sorry about that, I didn't even realize." He looked at me with apologetic eyes and held his arms out towards me. "Come here."

I shot him a weird look.

"Well, do you want to warm up or not? Come here, silly."

God, did he have any clue how those words could have been twisted around? Come on Bella Swan, relax and act natural, this is Jake after all and nothing is different, everything is the same.

I smiled warmly and accepted his invitation. His large warm arms wrapped around me causing me to shiver from the sudden heat of his body.

"See, isn't that better?" He smoothed his hands over my hair and back soothingly.

"I love how warm you are." I nuzzled my cheek against his chest and wrapped my arms around his back tightly.

This was nice, Jacob pressed up against me, hot and beautiful.

"I know honey. I'm sorry I made you get cold." He apologized against the top of my head.

"It's not that bad, I have my own personal Jacob blankie." I said lightheartedly.

Jacob's chest bobbed up and down with his laughter. I looked up and was met by his deep dark brown eyes.

"Yeah – I knew you only kept me around for the blankie factor." He rolled his eyes.

"See, you caught me." I deadpanned.

"Yup, secret's out." His large hand patted my back playfully as he released me. "So, what are you doing up this late anyway?" His left eyebrow raised in question.

Oh, not much Jake, you know the usual, having hot steamy dreams about my best friend ravaging my body. Nothing new.

"I couldn't sleep." I quickly looked away from his gaze, I felt my cheeks flush.

"Me either." He said softly. "So I went out for a run. That always helps me to think and eventually tires me out."

"Yeah – well, I wish I could do the same, but I seem to be shy a wolf gene." I said sarcastically.

"You're just not cool like me Bella, admit it, you're jealous." He waggled his eyebrows, taunting me. "Hey – what's whistling?"

Jacob looked around for the source of a high pitched whistle. My kettle of water was at a full boil.

"Water." I quickly ran into the kitchen to turn off the stove. "Some people prefer running as a wolf to help them sleep, well, tea is what works for me." I flipped open the spout of the kettle, "Ouch!" I shook my hand after a few drops of hot water had jumped up and hit it. It wasn't a third degree burn or anything, but just enough to sting.

"You ok?" Jacob looked concerned.

"Yeah – the water just splattered on my hand." I brought my hand up to my lips and tried to sooth the sting with my mouth.

"Ok sit down." Jacob ordered, pulling out a chair from the table.

"But what about my tea?"

"Just sit down woman." He ordered again.

I reluctantly put the kettle back down and went to sit in the chair.

"Let me serve you." Jacob smiled. "Now, what kind of tea do you want?"

"Uh – there's some mint in the cupboard."

I watched a little too closely as Jacob walked over to the cupboard and swung it open. Each movement he made seemed to have a natural flow, like water. It still amazed me that this beautiful, strong and graceful man used to be a gangly clumsy kid.

"Can I make a suggestion Bells?" He turned back to look at me.

"Sure." I leaned forward on the table.

"How about some chamomile tea instead? It will help you sleep."

He pulled out the box of chamomile from the cupboard and gently shook it from side to side. I nodded and watched Jake pull a couple of tea bags from the small box. He pulled out two large mugs and filled them with hot water. He placed a tea bag in each and came over to the table.

"Honey?" He looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes. Yes baby?

"Uh – yeah honey is good." I smiled.

He brought the honey and a few spoons back with him and sat down next to me. I took a small sip of my tea once he was done preparing it, it was sweet and delicious, with the slightest aftertaste of sweet apples or ripe quince.

"So, how was your day?" Jacob took a swig of his tea.

I watched his throat contract, his Adam's apple shifting up and down as he swallowed, the muscles of his throat hard and defined. _My lips sucking, my tongue licking that neck. _My mouth dropped open slightly.

"Bells, is your tea ok?" He looked at me and then down at the cup in front of me.

"Uh – yeah. Delicious. Sorry, it's just been a long day." I tried to cover up my embarrassment with casual conversation. "I had coffee with Angela today."

"How is she?" He asked taking another swig of tea.

I looked passed him at the wall, the wall was a safe point, the wall didn't have a sexy neck that was dangerously close to being attacked by my wanting lips.

"She's great. We caught up on everything. It feels like it's been forever since I last saw her. We're both so busy with our jobs and we don't hang out like we used to." I rambled.

Jacob sat back and listened to me tentatively, never once showing a sign of boredom. I told him all about Angela's new boyfriend, job and life. We sat there and talked until the sun came up. I looked out the window in awe.

"So much for the relaxing effects of chamomile tea." I snickered looking out the window at the sun rising.

"Well, it usually works on _normal_ people. You must be _abnormal_." He nudged me with his elbow, his lips twisted up with a smile.

"Look who's talking weirdo." I nudged him back with my shoulder.

This is what I loved so much about mine and Jacob's friendship, everything came so effortlessly. I'm a fool for ever thinking about changing it. This was the best.

Jacob's stomach growled loudly.

"Ok, time to feed the beast." I got up from my chair.

"Yup, that's me." He thudded his fist on his chest loudly for effect and let out a playful growl.

I cooked up two packages of sausage and scrambled a dozen eggs. I piled half a loaf of toast on a plate and served breakfast to a very hungry Jacob.

"Aren't you going to eat?" He asked looking at the empty place setting in front of me.

"Wasn't really that hungry." Food was the last thing on my mind and the thing I really _wanted to eat_ wasn't available to me.

I quickly shook the thought out of my head before it threatened to go any further. I lifted my glass of juice and took a large mouthful.

"Come on Bells, here have some sausage."

I spit the contents of my mouth out with a loud cough. Did he really just offer me his sausage? If I could have done so, I would have face-palmed right at that very moment.

"What?" He held out a sausage link and gave me a strange look.

"Nothing – sorry." I quickly grabbed some napkins and cleaned up.

"Well?" He held the sausage towards me. "Come on, you know you want it."

I felt my face heat up. God if only he knew how much I really wanted his _sausage_. The link he had in his hand wasn't quite what I had envisioned but I took it none the less. Jacob watched tentatively as I parted my lips and allowed him to feed me the link, my teeth bit down, the casing snapped and the meat broke off. My lips barely grazed the tips of his fingers.

"There, see, it's good." He popped the remaining piece of sausage into his mouth with a triumphant smile. "Now quit being stubborn and go get a plate."

How was I going to argue with him, or deny him anything he wanted from me?

"Unless – you want me to feed you like a baby." He snickered. "Is that what you want Bella? I will do it you know." He challenged.

"Ok – ok fine, you win. I'm getting a plate." I got up and walked over to the cupboard. I pulled out a plate and raised it up in the air. "See. Happy?" I sat back down next to him.

"Very." He said through a mouthful.

We ate and we talked and laughed. When we were done Jacob let out a satisfied groan and sat back in his chair.

"Mmm… that was so good Bells. You're gonna spoil me." He patted his stomach.

I watched his muscles contract. My stomach clenched. I was suddenly very jealous of the hand on his stomach.

"Glad you liked it." I said clearing the table and taking the plates over to the sink.

"You know…" Jacob looked around. "I still can't get used to the idea that Charlie isn't living here anymore. It's just weird."

"Yeah – it's a little lonely without Charlie, but I'm glad that he and Sue finally got married."

Charlie and Sue had developed a strong friendship after Harry had passed away. It took them three years to finally realize that they were completely in love with each other.

Charlie proposed last spring and they got married last summer. It was a beautiful simple ceremony at the town hall, followed by a lavish feast and bonfire in La Push. The whole tribe and half of Forks had shown up to wish the happy couple congratulations and good luck in their new marriage.

Charlie didn't want to leave his only daughter to fend for herself and have to find a place to live, and since Leah and Seth had already moved out from Sue's house, the ideal situation was to give me his house and for him to move in with his new wife.

I was grateful to him, I love this house, it's where I spent my vacations when I was a child and where I had made so many good memories throughout the recent years.

"Well, if you ever get lonely all you have to do is call me. I'll keep you company Bells." Jacob reached out and took my hand softly. "I'm just a phone call and ten minutes away." He winked and gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

If only he knew just how much I wanted to call him and have him come over these last few nights.

"I know." I let out a long yawn.

My body was exhausted, I hadn't really slept well and was suddenly at the verge of falling over from sleep deprivation.

"We should get you to bed." Jacob stood up and put his arm around my shoulder.

"I think I'm just going to pass out on the couch." I yawned again. "I'm too tired to go upstairs."

My eyelids felt heavy, my body like a dead weight pulling me down. I was suddenly swept off of my feet without warning. I gasped at the suddenness.

"Nope, not on my watch, we're taking you straight to bed young lady." Jacob smiled sweetly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him carry me up the stairs to my bedroom. Since Charlie had moved out I had taken over the master bedroom. I had purchased a king size bed and decorated the room to my taste.

Turns out that the king sized bed was the best purchase I had ever made, Jacob had taken a liking to spending the night with me in the last few months. We of course never did anything other than sleep, but it was nice to have his warm protective arms around me at night.

He laid me on the bed.

"Do you want to take this robe off?" He asked reaching for the tie.

"No!" I clutched at the tie with dear life.

Jacob cocked his head to the side in question.

"But won't you be uncomfortable in it?" He asked earnestly.

"I'm – I'm not wearing anything underneath." I whispered embarrassed. I felt my cheeks flush.

"Oh." His eyes widened with understanding. "Do you want me to leave so you can change?"

"Don't leave." I begged.

"I won't, call me back when you're done." He leaned down and pressed a chase kiss to my forehead and headed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I quickly got up and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and a dark tank top. I didn't bother with panties or a bra, this was my house and I wanted to be comfortable and besides, it wouldn't be the first or last time Jake had seen me with a shirt with no bra underneath it. I climbed back into bed and covered up.

"Ok." I called out.

The doorknob turned and Jacob came in quietly, his footsteps barely audible as he approached the bed.

"Sorry about that." He said with a nervous smile. "I didn't mean to go all pervert on you and try to take your clothes off or anything, I was just trying to help."

"Jake, you are so not perverted." I shook my head.

He rolled his eyes. "You have to say that, cuz you're my best friend."

"Caught again." I smiled.

He sat at the edge of my bed, he reached up and smoothed my hair back from my brow.

"Go to sleep honey. You need your rest." He cooed softly.

Another deep yawn escaped from me.

"Will you stay?" I asked with a hopeful, sleepy smile.

"Do you want me to?" His eyes softened.

"I'd like that." I nuzzled my cheek into the pillow. "I like having your arms around me when I sleep Jake. You're so warm and cozy." I said through a yawn.

"Sure, sure, there you go again with the blanket innuendoes. I'm gonna get a complex you know." He snickered.

But I was too tired to think of anything witty to throw back at him. So, instead, I watched him walk over to the other side of the bed and sit on its edge. He leaned down and untied his shoes and kicked them off before he climbed under the covers next to me. He scooted all the way over until his body was pressed up against my back. The delicious warmth of his body heated me instantly. His long arm wrapped around my waist and I felt his lips against the back of my head.

"Good night Bells." He whispered softly. "Sleep sweet."

"Night." I yawned out. "Or morning."

"Sure, sure." He dismissed my obviousness.

I drifted off into a deep peaceful slumber.

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	2. THE PAST WHICH HAUNTS ME

**_A/N: _**

**_Ok I know you all have been waiting for this chapter all week, so here it is. I have developed Jake and Bella's friendship a bit more. _**

**_I wanted to clarify a few things before I continue. First of all, this story takes place five years after New Moon. Bella is 23 years old and Jacob is just turning 21. Next off, I have decided to make this a rated "M" due to future lemons in my chapters, so don't fret my dears, I won't give them what they want yet, but it will come later. ;) As for why Bella hasn't realized her feeling for Jake in 5 years that will be addressed in chapters coming up, so be patient :P! _**

**_Also please don't forget to read and review my story A NEW HOME. I have entered it into a contest here on Fan Fiction dot net. Please go to my homepage and check out the story and leave a review. I hope that you all can vote and help me to win this one. _**

**_PIC's Two's Company, Three's a Party Polyamorous Contest!_**

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**_MY STORY IS THE ONLY WOLFPACK RELATED STORY IN THE CONTEST. VOTING BEGINS 2/14/10 AND ENDS ON 2/21/10, PLEASE VOTE FOR MY STORY "A NEW HOME". _****_Thank you for taking the time and readingthis. :)_**

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THE PAST WHICH HAUNTS ME

Heat…

So hot…

Scorching hot...

Sweating...

I opened my eyes and was greeted by a wall of russet skin. I had somehow managed to turn around in my sleep and was propped up against Jacob's bare chest, it was very hot and I was covered in sweat.

Jacob's mouth was slightly open, he was snoring like a freight train and his knee was pressed right between – my thighs.

Oh great. This is perfect.

I needed to get out of bed and fast, before I felt the urge to give into my sudden feline instincts and rub up against his knee like a big pervert. I shifted a little and tried to free myself from his arms.

"S'early." Jacob groaned and pulled me closer to him.

His arms wrapped around me tighter and his knee slid up, right against my center. Oh God, yes, I mean, no! I closed my eyes tightly and tried to focus on anything – anything other than his knee. Jacob began to snore again and his body was now vibrating against mine. Oh God.

"Jacob." I whispered, in a feeble attempt at waking him. I might as well have been trying to wake a hibernating bear, he didn't ever stir. "Jake!" I said a little louder.

"Hmm?" He moaned out still half asleep.

Think fast Bella. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"M'go then." His eyes were still tightly shut, his arms still tightly wound around me and his knee – oh God, his knee.

"I can't. You need to let go of me." I dreaded hearing myself saying those words, I loved being in his arms, but this was just a recipe for disaster if ever I had seen one.

"M'kay." He groaned and released me.

He mumbled something incoherent and turned over. His loud snores started once again. I quickly scrambled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I locked the door breathlessly. Oh, my, God. Ok, get a grip Bella, Jake's your best friend, come on.

I looked in the mirror, my face was flushed and my hair clung to my face in a sticky sweaty mess. Hence the perks of sleeping with all 108.9 degrees of Jacob Black, you inevitably wake up the following day a hot and sweaty mess. I opened the shower curtain and turned on the cold water.

Once I was showered and fresh I got dressed and went back to my bedroom. Jacob was sprawled out on the bed still asleep. His feet hung off of the bed and his chest – his beautiful chest was exposed to the world for its glorious viewing. I stopped in the doorframe and took in his beauty.

His skin was a flawless deep russet, his dark nipples stood at attention while his stomach muscles expanded and contracted with every breath he took. My eyes slowly drifted down every sexy curve of his well defined eight pack, down past his belly button to where his trail of happiness began.

Jacob wasn't a very hair man – well not in the literal sense, I mean, he was part wolf, so hairiness was a given. But in human form his body was perfectly smooth. His chest was completely soft and hairless, the only small patch of hair was right bellow his belly button. That patch, that led down towards where his well defined V dipped past the waistband of his low slung shorts…

"What's so interesting?" Jacob's voice startled me.

I jumped back with surprise.

"I – I…" I can't believe he caught me looking at him. My face felt very, very hot.

Jacob's chest rose and fell with his silent laughter.

"See anything interesting?" His head popped up to reveal a wide smile.

I rolled my eyes. "Are you always this cocky when you wake up?"

"Nope." He popped his P. "Only when I'm being checked out by my beautiful best friend." He waggled his eyebrows at me, his smile widening.

"Well, I wasn't." I crossed my arms over my chest tightly.

"Sure, sure." He lifted his arms up above his head and stretched his whole body out with a loud groan. "You know – s'ok if you _were_ lookin'. I know you think I'm _sort of beautiful_. So I don't mind if you look." He shot me a quick wink and then chuckled deeply.

I felt my face get hot, but I wasn't going to let him win this time.

"Yeah so I can boost your already, overly inflated ego? Thanks but I'll pass." I rolled my eyes at him again.

"Ouch. Well, I guess I deserved that." He smiled. "You've been hanging around us for too long Bells, you're starting to get good at this sarcasm thing. S'not fun to poke fun at you anymore, you always bite back."

"Well, I learn from the best." I smiled back with a new found confidence. "And my best friend is part wolf, so he's taught me a thing or two on the art of _biting_."

"Touché." He let out a long yawn. "What are you doing up so early anyway?"

"I had to go to the bathroom, and take a shower." I walked over to the bed and sat on its edge.

"Did I get you all sweaty again?" He smiled proudly.

My stomach clenched. If only he knew exactly how sweaty I wanted him to get me.

"Yeah, the blanket was left on high again last night." I deadpanned.

"Porump pomb ching." He pretended to play an invisible air drum set. "You're a regular comedian Bells."

He yawned again, making me yawn. We both looked at each other and laughed.

"Ok – back to sleep." He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me onto the bed.

"Ugh, but Jake, I don't want to get all sweaty again." I whined.

"Baby – you don't even know, what sweaty is." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and bit down on his bottom lip.

My stomach clenched hard at his words. Did he honestly not have a clue what he was doing to me?

"Quit it." I smacked his chest loudly.

"Hey, ouch." He pretended to be hurt, but I knew better, it was all smoke and mirrors, Jake was tougher than that.

"Ok drama queen." I rolled my eyes. "I know that didn't hurt you."

"You're right." He chuckled and pulled me up against his chest. "But I try to make you feel like you've won. It's the least I can do, just trying to be a gentleman you know." He winked.

"Right." I rolled my eyes again.

"I'm still tired." He yawned. "Can we sleep for a little longer?"

"Yeah…" I yawned in response.

He laid back and pulled me up against his chest pressing a soft chaste kiss against my forehead.

"Are you comfortable?" He asked rubbing my back softly.

"Mmm… very, you?" I nuzzled my cheek into his chest.

"Mhmm…" He drifted off and fell asleep.

I lay there in silence listening to the beating of his heart and his soft sighs as he slept and was finally lulled into my own peaceful slumber.

******

"So what are we going to do for you big twenty-one?" I asked Jacob the next day. "It's only five days away."

"Yeah." He scrubbed his hand through his messy hair. "Jared has something planned, but he won't tell me what." He smiled a nervous smile.

"Oh oh." I could see the distress in Jacob's eyes.

Knowing Jared it was going to be one hell of a celebration. For Jake's 18th birthday Jared had hired an exotic dancer which was quickly dismissed by Billy when she arrived wearing a black leather dominatrix outfit and carrying handcuffs. _Get that perverse filth out of my house_! He had yelled at Jared, but Jared just smiled like a moron and let the whole incident roll off of his back as if it were nothing.

"Sam wants to go to the Roadhouse in town and shoot some pool, and get me drunk." He snorted. "Like that's going to happen."

The Quileute boys had shown a very high tolerance to alcohol, we figured it had something to do with their extreme body temperature, the heat within them practically burned away the alcohol instantly. I had seen them buzzed, but never drunk.

"Yeah, not unless you plan on chugging a whole bottle of whisky." I chuckled.

"Wanna test that theory out?" He bit down on his bottom lip tauntingly.

"Nope – I will not aid illegal underage drinking. You still have five more days Jacob Black."

"Figures." He rolled his eyes. "You know, just because Charlie's a cop doesn't mean you have to abide strictly by the rules Bells. You can let your hair down and go wild every now and again."

He quickly reached behind me and tugged out my hair tie without notice, causing my curls to spill over my shoulders. I looked at him with annoyance.

"You know…" He grabbed one curl and played with it softly between his thumb and forefinger. "I don't know why you always pull it back, you have beautiful hair Bells. You should leave it down more."

My cheeks flushed. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

I playfully swatted at his hand, pretending to be annoyed.

"Of course, it is – your hair – so, don't worry about what – I – think. Do what you want to do." He tucked the curl behind my ear and smiled sweetly.

I was very glad that I was sitting down, because, my knees felt like jell-o.

"You know what tonight is?" He leaned back into his chair.

"What?" I let my eyes linger on his bottom lip as his tongue swept across to moisten it.

"It's Friday night." He smiled widely. "Date night."

Jacob and I had started a tradition within the last few years – if ever one of us was without a date on a Friday night, we vowed to go out with each other, and as of late, it seemed that neither one of us was very interested in dating any of the locals.

I couldn't exactly call it a date though, Jake and I just enjoyed going out and hanging out together around town and Port Angeles. But, I never knew what kind of mischief we would inevitably get into.

"Unless you already have plans." He said nonchalantly.

"Nope, you?" I didn't want him to feel stuck with me either.

He rolled his eyes. "You know it's more fun to hang out with you Bells."

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my lips.

"So, what do you want to do tonight? Hey _Revenge Of The Dead Corpse_ is playing!" He perked up.

"I don't know Jake?" He knew I didn't have a very strong stomach when it came to blood, guts and gore.

"Oh c'mon sissy it'll be fun. And don't worry I'll hold you through the scary parts." He winked mockingly.

"You just like to take me to these movies so you can have a lame excuse to grope me." My eyes rolled, not that I minded, but I wasn't about to clue him in on that little fact.

"Hey you use the blankie excuse to grope me all the time so I say we're about even."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're delusional?"

"I hear that from you all the time Bells." He smiled widely. "So you wanna go or what?"

As much as I didn't want to go see some scary horror movie, Jake's proposition to hold me through the scary parts was too hard for me to resist. I nodded in agreement.

"Ha, I knew you'd give in eventually." He said proudly.

"Sure, sure." I waved my hand at him.

"Well, shall I pick you up around five then?"

We both glanced at the clock.

"I'll be ready." I agreed.

"Great. Well, I'm going to go check in with the pack, so I'll see you later." He stood up from the table and bent down to give me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, don't eat anything. I'll make something for us here." Well, it was the least I could do to thank him for taking me out, right?

"Are you sure you want to eat before the movie? We could go get a bite afterwards."

"Is it that gory?" I asked nervously.

"It got a five axe rating. So, bring your bucket baby." He sniggered walking towards the door. "We're eating out."

"Fine." I gave in, an argument with Jake and his belly was an argument lost.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning the house. I scrubbed the kitchen floor like a mad woman on crack and then cleaned the bathroom and finally my bedroom. Once I felt satisfied with the cleanliness of my house I headed downstairs and turned on the television. I flipped through the channels but didn't find anything worth watching.

The phone rang, I hurried to get it which was a stupid mistake, I ended up bumping my shin against the coffee table when I jumped up to answer.

"Ouch! Hello?" I answered a little annoyed.

"_Hey kiddo_." Charlie's voice greeted me. "_You ok_?"

"Hey dad. Uh – yeah just bumped my shin on the living room table." Charlie's deep laughter sounded on the other end of the receiver, I smiled. "You know me, once a klutz, always a klutz." He chuckled again, I really did miss having him around. "How are you?"

"_I'm great, just thought I'd check in to see how you were."_ Well that was sweet.

"Great. I was just watching TV."

"_Oh, were you watching the Mariner's game_?" He asked with excitement. "_Did you see that homerun in the last inning?_"

"Uh – no sorry missed it." He knew I wasn't that into sports on TV.

"_Right_. _So you got any plans for this weekend_?"

"Well, going to the movies with Jake tonight."

"_Oh, a date? That's great Bells_." He said enthusiastically.

"Friday night date night." I reminded him.

"_Right. Well good for you kid. I really wish you two would reconsider this whole dating thing, Jake's a good kid Bells, I wouldn't let him go if I were you_."

Charlie and Billy seemed to be on a crusade these last few years to make it painfully obvious how wonderful Jacob and I were together. And Jake is wonderful, but up until lately I really hadn't thought of him in that way, he was just my best friend, comfortable and – well, Jake.

"Dad…" I whined.

"_Yeah, I know Bells, sorry, minding my own business now_. _Oh well, if it's meant to be it will happen for you two. My pushing isn't going to make a bit a difference either way_." He never failed to remind me of that fact.

"Well what plans do you and the misses have this weekend? Anything special?" I tried, not so casually to change the subject.

"_Sue's cookin' up a storm. In fact, I was calling to invite you kids over but I see you've made other plans_."

"Yeah, sorry. Tell Sue I said thanks for the invite and that I promise I will come over next time."

"_You got it kiddo. Well, it was sure nice talking to you Bells. I hope you and Jake have fun tonight_." He cleared his throat. "_And be careful_."

"Yes sir."

We said our goodbye's and hung up. I glanced up at the clock, 3:20pm. I decided to start getting ready, since I really didn't have anything else to do. I took a long hot shower, followed by a pedicure. I decided to leave my hair down since Jake had expressed a liking to it that way this morning. Luckily my hair was cooperative and didn't give me any problems. It hung in soft curls over my shoulders.

I went to my room when I was done and pulled open the closet. I didn't have a clue what I was going to wear tonight, I mean, I wanted to look good for Jake, but I also didn't want him to think I was going over the top, or make it look like I was trying too hard either.

After rummaging for a while I finally decided on a fitted dark blue shirt with long sleeves and a low scoop neckline and a pair or black jeans. I looked in the mirror satisfied. I actually thought I looked kind of sexy, the jeans really accentuated the curves of my hips while the low cut top just barely gave a small peek at the swells of my breasts.

There was a loud knock on the door. I quickly ran downstairs, managing to trip on the last two steps and landing on my knees at the base of the staircase.

"Damn it." I groaned out annoyed. I quickly got up and straightened out. I stole a quick look in the hallway mirror and opened the door.

I was greeted by three very large Quileute boys. Damn it.

"Hey Bells." They all sang out when the door swung open.

I looked at Jake a little annoyed and confused.

"I hope you don't mind that Quil and Em decided to join us." He said with chagrin.

"Blood fest!" Embry raised his hands above his head and grunted out in true caveman fashion.

"Bring on the gore baby!" Quil gave him a violent fist bump. "Hey Bells. You look nice." He looked away from his testosterone buddy and smiled warmly.

"Uh – thanks." I shot Jake a look of annoyance.

"Bella!" Embry shouted out and before I could protest I was picked up in a bear tight hug.

"Can't breathe!" I choked out.

"Oh shit, sorry." He quickly released me.

"You fucking moron!" Jacob pushed him aside and ran to me. "Are you ok?" His eyes were full of concern.

"Yeah." I tried to smooth my ruffled hair and clothes out.

"Why don't you watch what you're doing you big ding dong?" Jacob growled at Embry.

"Sorry man, I forget that she's all tiny and breakable." Embry pleaded.

"I'm not _that_ breakable." I argued in annoyance.

I really got tired of being the butt of all the _little, breakable, albino_ jokes.

"Right, sorry, didn't mean it the way it came out Bells." Embry shot me a crooked smile. "I just meant that…"

"We know what you meant." Quil snickered. "Hey come on you guys, the movie starts in an hour and I don't want to miss the previews."

"Are you ready?" Jacob took a moment to run his eyes up and down my body.

Was it me, or did his eyes just darken? I felt my face get warm. I quickly turned around and grabbed my jacket off of the coat hanger. Jacob grabbed a hold of it and helped slide if over my shoulders. He then spun me around and helped zip me up.

"What are you, her dad?" Quil sniggered.

"Just being a gentleman." Jake turned and winked at me. "Unlike other idiots in this pack I am _not_ a Neanderthal, _I _was taught manners." He shot Quil and Embry a stern look.

"Thanks." I smiled shyly.

"Well, the theater is that way." Quil pointed to the door. "So, can we leave now?"

I grabbed my purse and we headed out. Embry drove, Quil in the passenger seat while Jake and I climbed into the back of Embry's supped up silver Mustang GT convertible. Embry and Quil quickly reached up to put the top down.

"Are you crazy?" I protested. "It's freezing outside." Today wasn't the coldest day in Forks, but 45F wasn't exactly my idea of drive with the top down kind of weather either.

"S'nice outside." Embry rolled his eyes.

"Come here." Jake placed his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to his body. "I'll keep you warm." He reached up and pulled my hood over my head, softly tucking my hair back into it. "It'll help keep your pretty hair from getting all windblown." He winked and smiled sweetly. "Thanks for wearing it down. I know I didn't say it before but – you look beautiful Bells." His eyes warmed as he spoke.

"Thanks Jake, so do you." I said stupidly.

Embry and Quil busted out in laughter.

"You're so pretty Jake." Embry guffawed and turned to give Quil a high five.

Jacob kicked the back of Embry's seat hard and with a satisfied smile smacked the back of Quil's head.

"Hey!" Quil protested.

"That's what you guys get for being dumbasses." He pulled me closer to his body as Embry took off with a grumbled complaint.

It usually took me over an hour to get to Port Angeles when I drove, but these Quileute boys had a definite need for speed. We got there in a record thirty five minutes. Jacob, staying true to his word, cradled me close to him and made sure I wasn't cold.

When we got to the theater Quil and Embry went straight for the concession stand, they bought four jumbo sized popcorn tubs with four jumbo sodas, nachos with extra _jalapeño peppers_and if that weren't enough a few hotdogs for each of them. Jake handed me a huge bucket of popcorn. I looked down at the monstrosity in my hands and then up at him. Did he seriously think I was going to be able to finish this?

"I think that bucket's bigger than her." Quil laughed patting me on the back playfully.

"S'allright, I'll help you with that." Jacob assured as we took our seats.

He reached between us and lifted the armrest and scooted closer to me. I was secretly smiling and loving the extra closeness this had provided us.

"Gore, gore, gore!" Embry and Quil chanted lamely earning them a few shush'ings from other movie goers.

"Shut up!" The guy in front of us complained then turned back and saw the sheer size of Embry and Quil. He quickly recoiled in fear. "Uh, never mind."

_Revenge Of The Dead Corpse_ was exactly as Jake had promised, a blood, guts and gore fest. I couldn't take it, it was just too violent and graphic. I cowered into Jake's chest as he laughed at the 'poor makeup' and 'stupid fake blood'. When the movie finally had finished I was feeling a little queasy.

"You ok Bells? You look a little pale." Jacob looked at me with concerned eyes.

"Yeah, great." I felt like I was going to be sick. My stomach wrenched painfully with nausea.

"You're not gonna pass out on me now, are you?" He led me to a bench in the lobby and made me sit down. "Put your head down." He commanded.

I wasn't about to argue with him, I did feel a little lightheaded, I quickly obeyed and bent forward and put my head between my legs. I took in a few deep breaths as his warm hand ran soothing circles around my back. I was starting to feel a little better now that the blood flow had been restored to my dizzy head.

"That decapitation scene was sick!" Quil said enthusiastically. "Blood must have shot at least twenty feet away. So awesome!"

My thoughts involuntarily carried me back to that particular scene in the movie. I moaned with disgust.

"Quit it!" Jake shouted out.

"Oh c'mon Bells. Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you sick again." Quil quickly apologized.

"It's ok. I'm – I'm fine." I got up feeling a bit less dizzy, but my stomach still felt very, very uneasy.

"Do you think you'll be ok to go eat?" Jake asked putting his arm around me.

Food was the last thing on my mind. But I knew that they all must be starving, so I wasn't going to be the party pooper.

"Yeah, maybe that'll help settle my stomach." I looked up at him with apologetic eyes. I really hated that I couldn't be stronger, why the hell was my stomach so damn weak?

"Hey lets go to Bella Italia." Embry suggested. "I hear they have killer pasta."

I cringed with the memory of the last time I had set foot in that restaurant. The memory of Edward had almost faded away, and even though I didn't feel the same way now as I had in the past, the memories still stung a bit.

"Is that ok with you Bells?" Jake asked.

"Sure." I tried to not show the hurt I was feeling at the memories which suddenly came rushing back.

We drove up to the restaurant and I paused, the last night I had been here replayed itself painfully in my memory. I looked up at the familiar sign and was taken back to a time when _The Cold_ _One's_ ruled my life. My heart felt heavy and my feet even heavier as we walked up the three steps to the front door.

The restaurant had been remodeled since I had last been there, they had expanded the dinning room and added a few booths. We sat at a darkened booth in the back of the restaurant, the waitress handed us each a menu.

The guys were busy salivating as I cringed when I saw _Mushroom Ravioli _listed at the top of the menu. I quickly slammed the menu shut and put it as far away from me on the table as possible.

"You already decided?" Jake asked with a smile. "That was quick."

"Yeah, I'm just gonna have some chicken piccata." I said quickly hoping that was an option on the menu.

"Yeah, that looks good, but I think I'm going to have the sausage stuffed ravioli." He licked his lips and made an _mmm _sound. "It looks so good."

He took my hand in his and gave me a gentle squeeze. Suddenly everything seemed right again. Jacob was there keeping me from falling over the edge of insanity once again.

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_**PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!**_


	3. THE SWEET STUFF THAT STICKS TO YOUR FING

_**A/N:**_

_**I don't have a lot to say about this chapter. I really am happy with the way it turned out. **_

_**So without further delay… Here's Chapter 3!**_

_**Please review :)**_

_**As usual, I own nothing, I just love to write me some Jakey yummyness. **_

* * *

**THE SWEET STUFF THAT STICKS TO YOUR FINGERS AND TICKLES YOUR NOSE**

"Any dessert for you all?" Our very distressed waitress looked down at the mess of plates on our table.

She then looked at Jacob and blushed. What the...?

"Any recommendations cutie?" Quil shot her a wink.

"We like to _eat sweets_." Embry raised his eyebrows suggestively. "_A lot_. Right Quil?" He said something in Quileute that sounded very vulgar. Jacob chuckled silently.

The waitress instantly perked up and smiled. She fumbled clumsily with her pen and tried to hide her blush behind her hair.

"Um… Well you could eat here, we've got some excellent Tiramisu, but if I can suggest." She looked around the restaurant and made sure no one was listening. "You boys seem to have rather large appetites, and the Clallam County Fair is in town. I hear they have some of the best funnel cakes and deep fried Snicker bars."

It did not escape my notice that she was practically undressing Jacob with her eyes as she spoke.

"So, do you want to eat in or out?" She was devouring Jacob with her eyes.

I wanted to claw her eyes out!

"Out!" I blurted out before anyone else could get a word in edgewise. I really didn't want to give this bitch the satisfaction of staring at my best friend any longer than was necessary.

The guys all turned to look at me strangely. Jacob not so casually attempted to hold in his laughter.

"Does this mean that we're going to the fair?" Quil's face lit up.

"Sure as hell!" Embry fist bumped him.

I watched with satisfaction as the dumb waitress dropped our check on the table and left. But just when I had thought the bitch was gone, she returned with an annoying giggle and placed a folded piece of paper in front of Jake. He looked up at her and in true Jacob fashion smiled warmly.

"Thanks." He held the piece of paper up appreciatively.

What the fuck? Who did she think she was? Jake unfolded the piece of paper and smiled tucking it into his back jean pocket. I was so annoyed but I couldn't let him see it, I quickly grabbed my purse and fumbled around until I found my phone. I popped it open and pretended to be texting someone. My ears felt hot and I wanted nothing more than to throw the damn phone in my hand at that stupid bitch of a waitress.

"Did she give you her number?" Quil asked in a hushed voice.

I looked up from my phone, both he and Embry were leaning over the edge of the table eagerly waiting for Jake's response. I rolled my eyes and went back to my _pretend texting_. I saw Jacob nod casually out of the corner of my eye, igniting the flames of jealousy within me.

Quil and Embry started guffawing loudly.

"Dude, you should ask her if she's got any friends" Quil suggested.

"Or sisters." Embry looked like he was foaming at the mouth, what a horn dog.

Quil and Embry's loud conversation continued on the other side of the table while I sat there festering in silence.

"Don't be jealous." I felt two warm lips pressed up against my ear. I froze and felt a shiver run up my spine. "I wasn't gonna call her. I just didn't want the guys to think I was a pansy for not accepting the number." Jacob reached under the table and took my hand in his and gave it a little squeeze.

He leaned back and winked at me casually. Damn that's what I get for having a few glasses of wine with my dinner. Alcohol always brought out the not so flattering jealous streak in me. I was so embarrassed that I had been caught. I quickly looked away from Jake and back down to my phone. I felt his hand slid down my leg and to my knee, I froze, my eyes instantly widening with shock. What was he doing? My answer came quickly as he wrapped his fingers around my knee and squeezed, tickling me.

"Stop!" I giggled. He wasn't playing fair, he knew that was my ticklish spot.

"Oh, there you are. I thought you left me for a sec." He smiled back deviously and squeezed my knee again.

I squirmed in the seat. "Jake! Quit it!" I smacked at his hand.

He just laughed and gave me another squeeze making me squirm again. Two can play at this game, I reached over and pinched his hip. He jumped up out of his seat and hit his knees on the table. I let out a triumphant laugh.

"Hey, that's playing dirty!" He protested rubbing his knees.

"Didn't think I'd remember that you were ticklish there, did you?" I gasped for air between laughter.

"Yeah well you only know of one ticklish spot on my body baby. I on the other hand know of several on yours." He bit his bottom lip wickedly and lunged towards me pinching my side.

"Stop!" I squealed and tried to squirm away, my elbow hit the wall loudly.

Several heads turned our way in the restaurant. But I could have cared less, Jake and I were having too much fun. I wrestled my way back to his hip and pinched him again. Jacob let out a squeal. _Jacob_ – let out – _a squeal_. I was seriously at the verge of peeing my pants from laughing so hard. He reached over with his other hand and pinned me back against the booth and squeezed the back of my neck.

"Ok – ok, mercy! I give up!" I squeaked out in defeat.

"Who's your Alpha?" Jacob asked triumphantly.

"You are." I laughed out.

"What? Sorry I couldn't hear you." He squeezed my side again, making me squirm. "Say it Bella."

"You're the grand Alpha Jacob!" It was so humiliating when he made me say that out loud and even more so when he made me say it in public.

"That's what I thought you said." He smiled with satisfaction and released me. "And don't you forget it baby."

I looked up to see Quil and Embry looking at us with the weirdest expressions on their faces.

"What are you, ten?" Quil asked sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

"What ever man." Jake turned back to me and smiled big.

"Really, it's kinda weird don't you think? I mean – you guys totally act like a couple sometimes but you're just best friends. It's strange. I couldn't do it." Embry decided to voice his opinion on mine and Jacob's relationship as we got up from the table.

"What the hell man?" Jacob glared at him. "Mind your own damn business."

"Well it is weird Jake. Bells and you have been best friends for how long now?" Quil added as we walked out the restaurant.

"Why are we talking about this?" Jacob looked visibly upset. "Can we just please drop it?"

"I'm just saying. You two are going against nature, it's just weird." Quil continued.

Jacob looked upset and very uncomfortable. I couldn't stand it. As embarrassed as I was I decided to speak up.

"Just because you have never had a friend other than your butt buddy Embry doesn't mean that mine and Jacob's friendship needs to be questioned." I shot at Quil.

All three guys turned to look at me. Jacob's mouth dropped open with a slight popping sound.

"We're not gay Bella." Embry quickly tried to justify.

"You act like it sometimes." Jake's mouth twisted up in a sinister crooked smile.

"Shut up man! That's so not funny." Embry squared his shoulders.

"Relax, no one is calling anyone gay." I placed my hand on Embry's chest and tried to get him to back off. "I'm just saying that we don't need to put labels on our friendships. Jake and I are happy with what we are. End of conversation." As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them.

The truth was that I would have been happy with more, but I knew that would probably not happen any time soon, if ever. I looked over a Jacob, he was smiling proudly at me.

"We're still not gay." Quil grumbled as he got into the car.

I decided to make peace. "Look I was just trying to get back at you for what you said ok? I didn't mean it." Quil looked back at me and rolled his eyes. "I'll buy you a deep fried Twinkie if you forgive me?" I bribed.

Quil's face lit up. One thing Quileute boys were known for was not passing up free food.

"I'm holding you to that Bella Swan." He said sternly.

"You got it. In fact, first round of deep fried Twinkies are on me!"

"Deal." The guys sang out in unison.

Embry and Quil reached up to put the convertible top back down.

"Come here." Jacob whispered sweetly. I took his invitation and leaned back into his chest. "You're the best Bells." He kissed the top of my head and wrapped me in his warm embrace. "Thanks for sticking up for me."

"Yeah, well you'd do the same for me." I said casually.

"Any time." He gave my sides just enough of a squeeze to make me jump and squeal.

"Quit it." I elbowed his chest.

"Sorry, it was just too tempting." His chest bounced up and down with his silent laughter.

We saw the glow of lights from the fair as we approached the entrance. A huge Ferris Wheel stood proudly in the middle of the Clallam County fair grounds. A rainbow of twinkling carnival lights and neon rides lit up the night sky. Quil and Embry wasted no time in finding a ticket booth and getting tickets for the many rides the fair had to offer. When we got to the front of the line Jake pulled out his wallet and stepped in front of me.

"I got it." He smiled and proceeded to purchase our tickets. "Two all day ride passes." He told the lady in the booth.

"But isn't it too late to get all day passes?" I questioned.

"They're half off Bells after nine at night." He pointed to a sign in the window. "See."

The lady took his money and handed him two green paper bracelets. He took his change and turned back to me. He reached out for my hand and gently fastened the bracelet around my wrist with the softest of touch.

"Let the fun begin." He waggled is eyebrows.

"Hey Be-la!" Quil's voice sang out of the crowd.

I looked around until I found him standing right in front of a food concession stand. He pointed at the booth banner proudly. _Fried Food Heaven "Best Fried Twinkies in the Pacific Northwest". _

"Time to make good on your promise." He licked his lips and rubbed his hands together.

"Sick!" Embry shouted from behind us.

We all turned around to see what all the commotion was about. There were several classic muscle cars lined up in the distance. The guys instantly turned and started to salivate. Jake released my hand and in a trance like state walked over to the vintage automobiles.

"No fucking way, 1971 Barracuda!" He practically ran up to the car. He gawked in awe at the open hood. "Is it a Hemi?" He looked at the man standing next to the bright yellow car.

"Yes sir."  
"Sweet! And a convertible. How did you get your hands on this? There were only 100 sold that year." Jake looked at the car incredulously.

"Actually 115." The man corrected. He continued to tell Jake about the car.

Jake's mouth fell open, he was practically drooling over the paint job, engine and interior of the car.

"Can – can I…" He stuttered over his words.

"Go ahead son." The man opened the driver's seat door and Jacob gladly jumped in.

The inside of the car wasn't as big as it looked, which resulted in a very squished looking Jacob. I giggled at the sight of his head hitting the roof and his knees bent up to his chest. He looked like a sardine tightly packed in its can.

"This is sw-eet!" He rubbed his hands over the steering wheel appreciatively.

Quil and Embry were busy gawking at another fast looking car on the other side of Jacob. I never really did get the whole _guys and their car fetish_ thing. Oh well, it didn't matter, watching Jacob's face light up and his excitement was priceless.

"God, I'd give my left nut to be able to tinker under the hood of that baby." Jacob announced as we walked away.

"I'd give both." Embry added. "That Trans Am was sick!"

"I gotta go with Jake on this one Em. That Cuda was a beaut." Quil took another look back at the cars.

"You're right Quil, but I am a die hard Mustang lover." Embry patted right hand over his heart. "That Trans Am was sweet, but Stangs and I go way back."

The guys continued to talk cars. I walked patiently and quietly behind them and waited for them to take notice of me again.

"Oooh, cotton candy!" Embry's car trance was broken by the call of his stomach.

The guys approached the small metal cart and stood there staring with mouths agape as the vendor took a skinny cardboard cone and poured some pink sugar granules into a metal spout in the middle of the cotton candy machine.

With a flip of a dial the cotton candy machine begun to spin, long strips of sugary pink floss started to fly out towards the edges of the metal pan. The man took the paper cone in his hand and dipped it into the pan spinning it round and round collecting a pillowy soft cloud of cotton candy.

"There you go son." He handed Embry the first large cone of cotton candy.

"Thanks." He was practically salivating and wasted no time in pulling off a large chunk of cotton candy with his teeth.

Quil was the next to get a large cone of cotton candy and just like Embry, he wasted no time in sampling the sugary goodness. Jacob waited patiently as the man poured blue colored sugar granules into the cotton candy machine and spun a large football sized pillow of cotton candy. I watched Jacob take the cone with wide eyes and reach in for a pinch. He suddenly stopped and turned my way.

"I'm sorry Bells." He looked down at the cotton candy in his hand and then back at me. "What flavor do you want?" I felt my heart swell with love.

"It's ok Jake, I'm still pretty full."

"C'mon Bells, it's cotton candy, you can't say no to cotton candy." He pinched off a large piece and wagged it in front of my face. "Sticky, sugary, yummyness." He taunted. "Try some."

Resistance was futile, I had to try it. I parted my lips and allowed him to feed me. He brought the cotton candy towards my mouth, a few stray strands tickled my nose as his fingers came closer to my lips.

The cotton candy melted instantly as it hit my tongue, leaving a sticky residue on my lips.

"Mmm, isn't it good?" Jacob asked licking some left over cotton candy off of his fingers.

"Yeah." I licked my lips clean. "Thanks."

He smiled and dug in. I watched his mouth a little too attentively as he pulled off another hunk of cotton candy and ate it. He brought his fingers to his lips and licked them greedily trying to capture every last strand of sugary floss.

"Time for Bella to keep her promise." Quil shot me a wink and headed over to the _Fried Food Heaven_ stand.

Fifteen fried Twinkies and twelve fried Snicker Bars later we finally left the food court and headed towards the rides.

"I want to go on that!" Quil pointed to the WindSuf Ride.

I looked up to the screaming people being tossed upside down and side to side.

"No way." I shook my head from side to side quickly.

"Oh come on you big baby." Jacob grabbed my hand and dragged me to the line.  
"No, really Jake, you guys go ahead, I'll wait here." I tried to pull away from his vice tight grip, but he was not going to give up.

He looked down at me with stern eyes. "I don't think so. We came to have fun and this _will_ be a blast!" He smiled big.

"Alright, alright." A man with a microphone stood up on a platform in front of the ride. "Let's get this party started!"

Loud techno music boomed out into the crowd, people started to scream and squeal with excitement as the ride tossed and turn its next batch of victims. I looked up in horror, my stomach twisting with nerves. I attempted once again to pull away but Jake had a firm grip on my hand.

"You'll be fine." He said as the overhead safety bars came down.

He reached over and threaded his fingers through mine. My heart was racing and my stomach was flipping, I grabbed onto the safety bar with dear life. The ride started to rock back and forth, the beat of techno music vibrated the seat, and the crowd below us went wild. I closed my eyes tightly and let out a loud scream as the ride tossed us back and forth and finally spun us upside down.

"Woooo!" Jacob yelled out.

The butterflies in my stomach were being tossed this way and that, my hair was in my face and then hanging upside down as the ride spun round and round. Finally the ride came to a stop and the safety bars unlatched.

"That was fucking awesome!" Embry shouted out raising his hands up in the air. "I want to go again!"

"That was so much fun!" I squealed with excitement.

"See, I told you." Jacob patted my shoulder proudly as we got back in line and went for another spin.

We went from one ride to the next, spinning, being thrown upside down and twisted round and round, it was a total and complete blast!

"Hey Bells, you wanna ride the Ferris Wheel?" Jake asked.

"That's a sissy ride." Embry grumbled.

"Well go ride something else you dingdong." Jacob rolled his eyes and turned to me with an outstretched hand. "Shall we?"

I was more than happy to take a break from all the crazy rides and slow things down a little. I nodded and took Jacob's outstretched hand and headed towards the Ferris Wheel.

We stood in line and finally were able to board the observation cart. This wasn't your typical Ferris Wheel with open seats, each observation cart was encased in Plexiglas, which allowed riders to get a full three hundred and sixty degree view of the entire fair.

"Wow." I stood up from the small bench and looked out the window when we reached the top.

A million twinkling lights lit the ground below us.

"Sure is pretty." Jacob added.

I looked up at him and smiled. "Thanks Jake. This has been real fun."

"Yeah?" He asked and stood up next to me.

Poor Jacob, he was entirely too tall for the small compartment, he hunched over and tried not to hit his head. He looked down at me and smiled warmly.

"As far as date night go, this has been my favorite." I said honestly.

"Even when Tweedle Dipshit and Tweedle Dumbass decided to tag along?" He chuckled.

"Embry and Quil are cool." I couldn't help giggling.

"Come here silly girl."

He sat back down on the small bench and pulled me onto his lap. The wheel started its slow descent. I felt my heart jump into my throat as his arms wrapped gently around my waist. Come on Bella, get it together, this is Jake, your best friend and you've sat in his lap a million times. Why should this time be any different?

"Are you scared?" He whispered softly.

"N-n-nooo." I stuttered nervously.

My palms felt sweaty and my heart was beating faster.

"Are you sure? Your heart's beating really fast." He cocked his head to the side and listened closer.

Damn! There just wasn't any way of hiding from Jacob and his super enhanced wolfy senses.

"Yeah, I'm – I…" I was at a complete loss of words.

"Hey – you ok?" He leaned his head around my shoulder.

"Fine – I'm fine." I quickly tossed my hair forward and tried to conceal my blush.

"What's with you Bells?" His brows furrowed.

He reached up and pulled my hair out of my face. His eyes roamed over me – studying my expression.

"I'm fine." I tried to avoid eye contact at all costs.

I quickly diverted my attention out the cabin window.

"Does this – bug you?" He squeezed his arm around my waist a little.

Oh God, if only he knew exactly how much _this_ was _not _bugging me.

"N-no." I said quickly.

"Are you sure?" He probed on.

"Yeah, sure I'm fine." I felt like I was babbling.

I didn't want to make eye contact, but I had to, to show him that I was truly fine. I turned around and looked at him, his beautiful deep brown eyes met mine. Everything stood still for a moment, neither one of us spoke a word. I swallowed back the lump in my throat, my heart was beating in my ears, my breath hitched.

Jacob's lips parted and his tongue slowly swept over them.

"Bella…" His voice was a shaky whisper.

My heart was thudding, my breath shaky – his lips… I couldn't take my eyes off of his beautiful, sexy, full lips…

"Ahem…" A man cleared his throat.

We both turned to see the compartment door open and a man standing on the other side.

"If you'd like to take another ride, you'll have to stand in line again folks." He stood back and motioned for us to exit the ride.

Jacob slid me off of his lap and stood up. He took my hand and led me off of the ride.

"Come on, let's get something to eat." He squeezed my hand and led me back to the food court.

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	4. THE PATHS WE CHOOSE

_**A/N:**_

_**I have a feeling your guys are going to hate me for this following chapter. :) But then again, you might not. Just keep in mind that we all make certain mistakes in our lives, it's called the natural course of life, trial and error. **_

_**Please review and let me know what your thoughts are on this chapter. **_

_**As usual, I own nothing, I just love to write and Jacob and Bella are awesome inspirations. **_

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**THE PATHS WE CHOOSE**

No! I had been so damn close, no, just NO! I stopped and planted my heels into the dirt. Jacob was suddenly jerked to a stop and looked back at me through furrowed eyebrows.

"Bells?" Jacob's eyes narrowed, his voice was so deep.

I looked up at him nervously.

Jacob took a step closer to me. His chest rose and fell a little faster, everything stood still. My heart was thudding loudly in my ears and I felt like I was going to pass out, was I hyperventilating? I opened my mouth and let out a small squeak. I couldn't talk.

His eyes were so beautiful and dark. His tongue slowly pushed its way out from in between his beautiful full lips and swept across them leaving a shiny layer of moisture in its path. My heart kept thudding. He took another hesitant step towards me. I could feel the heat radiating off of his body from our proximity, my skin was instantly covered in a million goose bumps. I looked into his hopeful, confused eyes. His hand slowly tugged on my hand, silently calling me closer to him, I was too weak not to obey. I stepped closer to him, our bodies pressed together. His head slowly began its decent towards mine, hesitantly and so painstakingly slow.

Something inside of me snapped. God, what am I doing? Do I have any clue what is about to happen or what I'm about to do? I – I'm about to ruin – Everything!

I want to kiss him, I do, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. I'm broken – and used – and I can't put poor Jacob through the agony of having to put me back together again. I'm selfish! It's just not fair to him. I – I won't. I can't. He deserves better than me.

If life had taught me anything at all, it was that relationships ruin everything. I had two relationships and they both ended very badly. There was no way I was going to make that mistake again, or put poor Jacob through the drama of a breakup. I couldn't – I wouldn't.

Once again, defeated by my subconscious, I was forced to take a step back – away from that which I wanted so badly but could not bring myself to take. His eyes widened just the slightest bit.

"I – I… I'm sorry." My head dropped in shame.

After five years you'd think I would stop torturing poor Jacob. I don't know what's wrong with me? I felt his warm hand against my face. He slid his fingers under my chin softly and lifted my face to look at him.

"Hey…" His voice was a whisper.

I willed my eyes to look up at his, even though I felt so embarrassed and so irrevocably mean – no, evil for what I'd just done. That was it, I was evil, the lowest of the low, I don't deserve his friendship.

"S'ok Bells." His fingers softly caressed my chin.

I looked at him with apologetic eyes. His face warmed instantly and the most beautiful Jacob smile spread across his face.

"I'm not going anywhere…" He spoke softly. "I'm always going to be here for you." His thumb gently swept forward and ran across my bottom lip.

I felt a chill run up my spine.

"Thanks Jake." I leaned into his hand.

That was the best part of Jacob Black, no matter how foolish I acted he always remained my sweet best friend.

Though the lump in my throat was thick, I managed to squeak out one final. "I'm – sorry."

"Shhh… there's no need for apologizing, s'ok."

He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me into his chest tightly. I felt him sigh, a deep, long sigh. I felt horrible. My arms snaked their way around his waist as I nestled my cheek against his warm chest pulling him tightly against me, trying so hard to convey with my body that which my mouth was too chicken to say.

His stomach rumbled loudly against me. I looked up at him and could not contain my laughter.

"Let's go get you some food hungry." I said with a smile.

Jacob grinned big and took my hand again, leading me towards the food court.

The rest of the night Jacob was determined to show me a good time. He drug me back and forth from one ride to the next and kept me laughing with his witty sarcastic jokes.

Quil and Embry finally caught back up with us right before the fairgrounds had closed. They had evidently _hooked up_ with some _hot chicks_ and had scored their phone numbers. They gushed all the way back to Forks about the girls they had met.

Jacob was the perfect gentleman as always, he walked me up to my door and gave me a sweet hug good night.

"Night Bells." He rubbed his hand across my back soothingly. "Sorry I can't stay tonight, I have to run patrol." He looked down at me apologetically.

"It's ok Jake, don't worry I'm tired so I probably wouldn't have been very good company. I'm probably just going to pass out." I tried to ease his guilt a little.

"Promise me something." His eyebrows furrowed.

"Anything." I would truly do anything for him after what I did to him tonight.

"Promise me you'll get your ass in bed and not fall asleep on the couch." His lips curled up into a smile.

"Sure, sure. Hey. The couch is comfortable." I grumbled.

"Just get your ass to bed Bella." He rolled his eyes at me.

"Yes sir." I saluted cheekily.

"Night Bella!" Embry and Quil called out from the car window.

"Yeah, I think that was a hint." I looked at Jake and giggled. "You better get going." I turned to the car. "Night guys!"

"Yeah, you're probably right. Night honey." He ruffled his hand though my hair playfully and skipped off of the porch and back to the car.

They waited until I was safely in the house before they drove off. I kicked off my sneakers at the front of the door and hung up my jacket. I was so tired from all the walking we had done today. I walked over to the couch and fell back into the deep soft cushions.

I grabbed the remote control and flipped the television on. Commercial… infomercial… Spanish Soap Opera… another infomercial… Ugh, nothing on. I turned the TV back off and plunked the control down on the coffee table. There was a gentle knock on the front door. I looked up and felt a smile spread across my face. Maybe Jacob had changed his mind and come back.

"Coming." I called out and quickly walked over to open the door.

I turned the lock and swung the door open, standing on the other side was the last person in the world I would have expected to be standing there. Mike Newton.

"Hey babe." He had a huge goofy grin plastered on his face.

"Um… hey." I said surprised.

Mike and I hadn't seen each other in a few weeks and I was really surprised by his unexpected visit.

"Can I – come in?" He asked shyly.

"Uh – sure." I stepped to the side and allowed him room to walk in.

I closed the door hesitantly silently wishing that the man standing in my house were Jacob and not Mike.

Mike is a good guy, maybe a little persistent, but good nonetheless. I guess what they say about persistence paying off is true. He had pursued me all throughout high school when he knew I was dating Edward and then continued to do so after Edward had left.

A year of persuasion later I finally gave in to his many attempts of asking me out and went to a movie with him. Turned out that we had a lot in common, he liked to read the same books that I had loved to read and had a knack for writing that he had kept concealed from everyone.

We had dated for several months, casually, nothing serious and then one night he kissed me. No one other than Edward had ever kissed me, so you can imagine my shock. I was still in such an emotionally vulnerable state in my life and was longing for the loving touch of a man. Mike was the perfect gentleman, he was soft and tender and obviously head over heels for me, so one night I gave in and slept with him.

I can't say it was mind blowing or the earth shattering, it was just sex, but he did satisfy me, so I guess I couldn't really complain. We had a short lived romantic relationship in which I refused to allow him into my heart, and that was our ultimate demise. He couldn't deal with the fact that I would not get over Edward and move on, so we broke up.

A few weeks later he had show back up and told me that he didn't care that I was unwilling to give him my heart, he just needed me and couldn't get me out of his mind. He sweet talked his way back into my life and back into my bed.

Our relationship since has been that of friends with benefits. No strings attached, just a good time when ever the one of us had an itch to scratch.

"You look good." He looked me up and down with hungry eyes.

"Thanks." I ran my hand through my hair nervously.

I knew why he was here, it was obvious by the look in his eye, but things had changed – I had changed. I didn't know if I could bring myself to tread back on waters I should have abandoned a long time ago.

"I missed you." He said roughly and took a step towards me.

His hand reached out and touched my face. He paused for a moment to look in my eyes and leaned forward. My heart screamed out for me to stop, but my body felt weak to his touch. I let him lean closer and did nothing when his lips brushed over mine. The familiarity of his mouth was comforting.

Mike had been the only man I'd ever slept with, he knew me – he knew exactly which buttons to push to make my body respond to him. His tongue swept across my lower lip requesting access. With a slight shiver I gave in and parted my now wanting lips. His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to him roughly.

"God Bella, I missed how you taste." He panted against my lips.

His hand slid up my waist over my stomach, he hesitantly cupped my right breast and started to knead softly, his thumb brushing over my sensitive nipple and making me whimper into his mouth. His other hand pulled lightly on my waist guiding us back to the living room.

He slowly laid me back onto the couch and crawled up on top of me, this was so wrong – but I was too turned on to stop him. I needed this, I wanted it so badly. Nights and nights of wet dreams of Jacob Black had left me wanting and weak. I longed for release.

His hands wasted no time in pulling up my shirt, it was quickly discarded on the ground. I was panting loudly, his hips were grinding into me – his erection was painfully obvious.

My body was begging for release, I didn't want foreplay – it was penetration I was craving the most at that very moment. I quickly reached down and undid his pants.

"A little impatient?" He said smugly.

"Well, didn't you come here to fuck Mike?" I asked bluntly. "That's what you want isn't it?"

"Well – yeah." He raised his eyebrows. "I just thought…"  
"Quit thinking and just fuck me already." I demanded.

He shut up with that and pulled my pants and panties down quickly. He rummaged through his jean pocket and extracted a condom, which he quickly tore open and rolled on himself. His hand reached down in between our bodies and positioned his shaft at my entrance. He slid his head back and forth a few times, teasingly and then finally slid his full length inside of me.

"Fuck." I bit down on my bottom lip.

One thing I could always count on with Mike was his urgency to give me release. He always said he loved feeling me come on him, so he did everything possible to get me off.

My orgasm came quickly from his fast thrusts, it was satisfying but not mind blowing, I just couldn't bring myself to fully let go and enjoy. With a loud grunt he came to his own release panting and sweating against me.

"Fuck Bella." He moaned. "That was fucking amazing."

Yeah, right. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Wooh." He sat up on the edge of the couch and shook his head back and forth.

I reached over and pulled the throw cover that was on the back of the couch over my self in an attempt at concealing my nakedness. We sat there in awkward silence for a while coming down from our release.

"Wow." He looked over at me. "Wow babe, you came hard huh?"

Oh-kay.

"Yeah… I guess so." What else was I supposed to say? _Oh yes Mike, thank you for gracing the world with your magical penis?_

I suddenly felt really – really – dirty. God, I shouldn't have ever let him…

"Well…" He scrubbed his hand through his hair. "That – was fun." He squeaked out. "We should do it again some time."

He leaned forward and picked up his pants and boxers from the ground. He quickly slid them on and fastened his belt.

"You're ok with me not spending the night right? Or, did you want to do the girly cuddling thing?" He asked in a very nonchalant tone.

"No – I'm cool, zero cuddling necessary." He was the last person I wanted in my bed cuddling with me tonight.

"Oh-kay then." He elongated his words. "Well…" He clasped his hands together and nodded his head. "Sleep tight." He leaned down and quickly pecked me on the lips.

I cringed and wrapped the blanket around my body tightly and watched him walk towards the door.

"Night Bella." He had a smug smile on his face. "Thanks again babe."

He opened the door and walked out closing it behind him. Another good thing about Mike – he never lingered when I didn't want him around.

I grabbed my clothes off of the floor and walked upstairs. I took a long hot shower and crawled into bed exhausted and unsatisfied.

The next morning I woke up from a particularly good Jacob dream sweating. I was awake but my eyes were still shut tightly, I was still very tired and hot. Very, very hot. I reached behind my head and grabbed the pillow. I yanked it out from under my head and landed on a very hard warm object.

My body shot up in surprise. I looked over to find Jacob sleeping peacefully on the other side of the bed. His arm resting in the space once occupied by my pillow. I felt overwhelmingly happy to see him and disgusted with myself for what I'd done the last night.

Jacob's hands suddenly grabbed my waist and pulled me back down on the bed.

"S'too early." He grumbled. "M'go back to sleep."

How could I say no to him? He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled my back into his chest.

"M'sorry I startled you." He said sleepily. "I was too tired to go home and your house was closer." He yawned. "So I used the spare key."

"It's ok Jake." I yawned back.

"Where's your pillow?" He mumbled.

I reached over the side of the bed to get the pillow that had fallen down when I had jumped up earlier. I looked over and saw Jacob breathing deeply, his lips slowly parted as he fell asleep.

"Jake?" I whispered softly.

He didn't respond, instead he began to snore lightly. One thing was certain about Jacob, he always slept like a rock, nothing could wake him up once he decided to relax and fall asleep. That was a good thing, especially right now.

My mind was instantly filled with images of the dream I had last night. _His hands touching my body – his lips kissing me – his tongue on my skin._ I felt my body shiver.

Jacob's chest rose and fell with each deep peaceful breath he took. God his lips looked so soft and inviting. I wanted to kiss him so badly, and after what happened at the fair last night it was hard for me to resist him.

"Jake?" I said a little louder, but got no response.

He was out cold. I reached out towards his face hesitantly and paused for a moment to make absolutely sure that he was asleep. He continued snoring, his lips pouting outwards, he was completely relaxed and unconscious.

My hand continued up towards his face, I curled all of my fingers into a loose fist, except for my index finger – I hesitated – Jacob kept up his snoring. I chewed on my bottom lip nervously as I reached out and touched his bottom lip. It was warm and velvety against my finger. I quickly looked up towards his eyes – they were tightly shut.

_God Bella, you've lost your mind. What are you doing?_ I chastised myself unconsciously as my finger kept lightly trailing over Jacob's bottom lip. Could I get away with more?

I placed a little more pressure on his lip with my fingertip – he did not move, his snoring in fact got louder. Jacob was completely unconscious in his sleep and I felt like a pervert molesting him. Well, it's only his lips, it's not like I'm touching him inappropriately or anything, right?

His lips looked and felt so good under my finger. I couldn't help but wonder if they tasted as good as they looked. And with that thought I did the unthinkable. I leaned forward slowly, hesitantly, towards his face. I shot a quick look up to his tightly shut eyes.

_I shouldn't. _

My head moved subconsciously and on its own will towards his face. I was powerless to stop myself. My breaths were shallow and shaky as I approached his lips with mine. I could feel his hot breath against my lips, my breath hitched in the back of my throat.

_What am I doing? _

Another quick look to his shut eyes.

I leaned a little closer and just barely brushed my lips against his. I bit back a moan. My tongue threatened mutiny if I didn't release it from my mouth.

_This is so wrong._

My lips parted slightly and my tongue swept out over his bottom lip. I felt electricity course through my body. His sweet earthy taste lingered on my tongue, and I wanted more. Jacob moaned lightly. My head quickly snapped back, my eyes immediately looked up towards his.

His eyes remained tightly shut, his snoring continued. I sighed with relief. You'd think that would have been enough to stop me – but it wasn't. I just wanted one more taste. I couldn't help myself.

I looked up again. His eyes were shut peacefully.

I leaned forward one more time and parted my lips – softly – very softly – I touched my lips to his. Jacob continued to snore loudly, his breath tickling my lips. My heart was thudding in my chest. I molded my lips against his – cautiously – and swept my tongue across his bottom lip once again.

_Ok Bella, that's enough. Stop._

With a heavy heart and wanting lips I pulled away from him and lay back down. This would have to be enough for now.

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	5. DENIAL IS POINTLESS

_**A/N is posted at the bottom of this chapter.**_

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**DENIAL IS POINTLESS **

Jacob sighed deeply in his sleep. I knew how he felt, I wanted to scream at myself for being such a fool. All I could think about was the warmth of his lips and the delicious musky, earthy, sweet flavor that lingered on my tongue. I turned onto my side and faced him once again. His face was completely relaxed and peaceful.

My sweet Jacob, always so beautiful. His loud snores continued. I watched his lips part lightly with every exhale. I curled my knees up towards my chest and felt my body shiver.

"Are you cold?" His soft, deep voice startled me.

Wait, he was supposed to be sleeping. He was just snoring, he couldn't have been awake… Had he been aware of everything that was going on this entire time? My face felt hot, very, very hot.

"N-ooo." I was beyond embarrassment.

"C'mere." He mumbled wrapping his long arm around my waste and pulling me into his body.

My heart was thudding in my ears, my body was trembling uncontrollably. Come on Bella, get it together – don't lose it now.

Jacob smiled sleepily his eyes remained closed the entire time. He wrapped his arm around me a little tighter. My body molded itself to his easily, our faces only inches apart and my heart was beating wildly out of control.

"Bella…" He whispered huskily. "Are you sure you want this?" His voice was rough and laced with sleep.

What did he mean, _are you sure you want this_? Did I want to be _warmed_ by him, _held_ by him? I – I was a little confused and very nervous.

There was only one thing I could think that I really did want. But, he couldn't mean… _that_, cold he?

My head began to spin. I could taste his breath in my mouth, our lips were so close to one and others – his eyes remained shut.

"Wh—what do you mean?" I asked nervously.

"This." He squeezed me against his body a little tighter.

His lips slowly parted and his tongue swept across them invitingly, leaving a layer of glistening moisture in its path.

I felt completely weak and unable to resist any longer. Silently, I answered the question I hoped beyond hope that he was asking me. I leaned forward and lightly brushed my lips against his. My breath was shaky and my heart was thudding maddeningly loud.

Jacob's entire body went ridged, he inhaled sharply and froze.

We were suspended in time, nothing was moving, everything was completely still. The only sound was that of our shaky breath.

I had no idea if I had answered his question or if I had assumed that he wanted to kiss me out of my own delusions. I was conflicted, what the hell had I done? Did I really need to be so needy and desperate? Did I really think that this is what he truly wanted when he asked me if I wanted _this_? What if I just ruined everything!

God, there was a part of me that wanted to run away in shame, but the other part of me wanted to be here, in this bed against his warm body and tasting his soft lips.

I gave in to my want and I leaned in again, my eyes open and studying his expression as my lips brushed against his. His grip on my waist did not change, he still held me tight against him, and his face remained stiff and unmoving. His free hand fisted the covers tightly.

My lips made contact with his once, twice and then a third time with no response.

Suddenly I felt like the world's biggest fool. My heart sunk completely as Jacob lay there still and unmoving.

_You are a fool Bella Swan. _

I leaned back feeling utterly unwanted and defeated by my desire.

"Wait." Jacob's shaky voice broke the awkward silence. "I – I'm sorry." His eyebrows furrowed and his face looked so conflicted. "I – didn't think this is what you wanted." He whispered.

His eyes slowly opened, he looked like he was tortured and in pain, his face was filled with so much emotion as his eyes met mine. He took a deep shaky breath in.

"I can't tell you how much I've wanted this Bella." He swallowed hard. "How much – I've wanted – you."

"Jake, I…" I was cut off by a soft _shhh…_

"But – what I want and what you want are two different things." He said with certainty.

"I want – you Jake." My eyes pled with his.

How could he doubt that I was speaking the truth?

"I know…" He whispered leaning his forehead against mine. "It's just that, I know you're not ready for what I want to offer you Bella." He took in another shaky breath. "I know I haven't made things any easier by being here and crossing these boundaries with you. I – I should have know better, s'just that – that was the only way I could think of to be close to you. I mean, look at us Bella." He said looking up and down our bodies. "I'm in bed with you. I've been taking advantage of your friendship so I can be in your bed." He looked away from me. "The worst part about it is that – I don't regret sneaking my way in."

Was he honestly trying to tell me that he had used our friendship in a desperate ploy to get into my bed? There's no way – that's just not the Jacob that I know or love, he couldn't have just been – using me? No, if he were using me, he would have done more than just sleep with me. He would have tried more…

"Wait a minute." I sat up. "Are you saying that – you used me?" I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth, they sounded so out of place.

"I think we both used each other Bells." He said solemnly. "You needed to get over Cullen and then that idiot Newton – and I needed to feel you close to me, wanting me, even when I knew that you could never want me in the same way I wanted you." He closed his eyes tightly. "I'm sorry."

Wait – he was apologizing for wanting me? I knew that Jacob wanted me, ever since the day that I took the motorcycles over to his house, I knew. He never tried to hide it from me, I felt it in every touch, every look and every unspoken sigh. And now, poor Jacob was beating himself up over wanting me. Nothing had changed, well, not really, the only difference now was that I wanted him back.

I watched him get up slowly and swing his legs over the side of the bed. His entrie frame slumped over as he placed his face in his hands ashamed. My poor – poor Jacob, always willing to sacrifice his own heart to make me happy.

I crawled up onto my knees and sat next to him on the bed.

"You're right you know." I took in a deep breath. "I did use you."

His face looked up from his hands, his eyes were brimmed with red.

"I should have told you a long time ago that I couldn't breathe without you there." I looked away from him ashamed to finally be admitting these things I had concealed for so long from him. "When – Edward – left me, I was completely broken and I felt like there had been a huge hole punched in the middle of my chest." I cringed at the memory.

"You brought me back to life Jacob. You healed me and filled my life with sunshine once again. You taught me how to smile and laugh."

Jacob's eyebrows furrowed sadly.

"I – found comfort in Mike Newton. He was there for me when I thought no other man wanted me."

Jacob's lips parted but he didn't say anything.

"I knew that you wanted me Jacob." I clarified. "But – I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I needed you too much. I thought if you left me I would fall apart into a million pieces and never be able to come back to life again."

"I would never let that happen." He half growled, his jaw was tightly locked and his neck muscles strained tightly against his russet skin. "Even if you didn't want me Bella – I swore to always protect you. I would never, ever let you fall."

"I know." My head shook absentmindedly. "But you can't always protect me from myself Jake. Sometimes in life, you need to fall down and pick yourself back up. It's when we get back up and brush ourselves off that we learn our true lessons in life. Everyone needs to fall eventually."

"You should never have to fall." He grumbled.

His concern for my safety was truly heartwarming, it filled me with so much happiness to know that Jacob wanted me to be happy and away from harm.

"I haven't since I've been with you." I reminded him. "You've always kept me safely on the ground, remember?"

"I don't do it out of duty Bella, I do it because I care about you." His intense eyes bore into me.

"You do it because – you love me?" I asked silently.

"Yes." He whispered. "I've always love you – you know that."

"I know Jake, and I love you too." It was the truth, he was my oldest and dearest friend, and he was practically part of my family.

"But only as a friend." He added bitterly.

"Yes, I did feel that way…" I saw him cringe lightly and look down. "Before." I added.

His hopeful eyes looked up at me once again. I never wanted to hurt him, and seeing the look in his eyes was making my heart both ache and soar at the same time. How could I have used him for so many years and never noticed that he was truly the one that brought me all the happiness I was seeking in others.

"And now?" He asked huskily.

"I – I'm not sure." I said honestly.

Jacob's hopeful face fell once again.

"Not because I don't want you Jacob – but because this is all – new to me. I am scared to death of ruining our friendship, but I don't want to deny that I care about you any more." I placed my hand on his shoulder softly. "I want to – I don't know – I guess try and see where this all leads to." Did any of that make sense? I wasn't sure.

"You want to try what out?" There was hope shielded within his skeptical tone.

"This." I pointed at him and then at me. "I – want to give _us_ a shot Jacob."

His mouth dropped open slightly with awe.

"Are – are you sure Bells?" He searched my face with his eyes. "I don't ever want you to feel obligated to try something out that you are not fully sure of. I'm happy just being your best friend, honest I am."

"I'm sure Jake." I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. "Do – do you want to?" I asked timidly.

A crooked smile broke upon his lips. "Let's not over think it. Let's just take things slowly ok?"

Exactly how slow was slowly?

"The last thing I want is to rush you into anything you aren't sure of." He whispered taking my hands in his.

"Jake we've been best friends…"

"I know Bella." He cut me off. "But _this_ is different and – I don't want to mess things up." He sighed and rubbed his thumbs across the tops of my hands softly. His face took on a new sadness. "This is not the way it should have happened for us." He closed his eyes and paused for a moment to gather his thoughts.

"How then?" I asked.

"Just – just not like _this_ Bells. I wanted this to be – different." He trailed off in thought again.

His eyebrows furrowed with concentration then I saw his face completely change, a beautiful smile spread across his lips and his eyes lit up. He patted my hands in between his and stood up suddenly.

"You're off of work tonight, right?" He asked with a smile.

"Uh – yeah." I was a bit perplexed by his sudden burst of energy.

"Can I – pick you up around four?" He asked hopefully.

"Where are we going?" I was a little confused.

"Let me surprise you." He said with a confident wink.

"Ok." I didn't know what he had up his sleeve, but his mischievous smile didn't escape me.

"Great, it's a date." He declared and leaned in to my surprise and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "I'll be back around four for you then."

He turned around and started to walk out of the bedroom but then stopped. He turned his head and looked at me with intense eyes, he took two steps and was back at the edge of the bed, his long arm reached out until his fingertips were brushing up against my cheek. Butterflies assaulted my stomach.

"I'll see you in a few hours Bells." He half whispered. "Try to get some rest ok?"

His large thumb brushed softly over my cheek.

"You too." I whispered back, feeling a shiver run up my spine.

With a soft chuckle he turned back around and headed out of my room whistling a happy tune all the way down the stairs. His whistling got softer and softer and finally disappeared completely as he walked out of the front door.

I fell back on the bed with a loud thud. My heart felt like it was going to jump right out of my chest and the butterflies in my stomach were going to fly right out at any minute.

Was I actually going on a _real date_ with Jacob Black? We'd been on a hundred _friend dates_ throughout the years, but never anything official or _romantic_. I suddenly felt very, very nervous.

I looked over at my alarm clock – 7:31AM. It was still very early and I was completely wound up and awake. How did he expect me to get any sleep after what just happened? I ran my hand through my hair nervously and took in a deep shaky breath.

My head was filled with _what ifs_. _What if I screwed up?_ I really hope that I haven't made a mistake or that our friendship will suffer the consequences of this decision.

_There's no turning back now Bella_, I took a leap of faith when I put my heart out on my sleeve with Jacob. I hope that – in the end – it pays off.

Please, don't let this all have been a huge disastrous mistake.

* * *

_**A/N: **_

_**  
Ok so I know this chapter was a short tease, but trust me when I say it was necessary as an intro into the next chapter. I promise that the next chapter will be substantially longer. **_

_**Poor Bella is so conflicted and Jacob remains optimistic and sunny as always. What ever will happen next? Stay tuned and find out. **_

_**Please do not forget to REVIEW**__** :) **_

_**P.S. I haven't given up on The Club, so make sure you keep me on your author's update list and see where I post next. **_


	6. FIRST DATE JITTERS

**FIRST DATE JITTERS**

My bed felt cold and empty without Jacob there.

"Oh who am I kidding?" I said out loud and got up.

There was no way I was going to be able to sleep again, not now, I was way too wound up. I sat on the edge of the bed and wondered if Jacob was feeling the same nerves I was about tonight. He seemed calm enough when he left – but that was Jacob, perpetually calm and sunny.

With a loud groan I stretched and got up. I walked towards my closet and opened the door. I stood there staring at the clothes before me. There was absolutely nothing I owned that Jacob hadn't seen me in before. That – was going to be an issue.

I didn't want to look frumpy by wearing a worn plaid shirt and jeans, but I didn't want to wear something he'd already seen me in either. I know Jacob didn't care about small details like clothes, but this was our first date and I wanted to make sure he knew that I put some kind of effort into it.

That made up my mind, I guess I now had a plan to pass the time today. I hated shopping for anything, but really hated clothes shopping with a passion. I got dressed and went downstairs to get some nourishment. Food was the last thing on my mind, my nervous stomach threatened to reject the Fruity Pebbles I had choked down.

I grabbed my car keys and headed downtown Forks to the only place I knew had anything worth wearing on a first date. I drove up to Jessie's Boutique and parked the car. Jessica had opened up her own clothing shop a few years back, she had a bit of a knack for fashion and style, so it only seemed natural that a clothing store would be her chosen path after college.

The large glass door swung open and a loud bell squealed out as I walked in.

"Well, if it isn't Bella Swan." I heard a bubbly voice call out.

I looked around and saw Jessica standing by the fitting rooms with a steamer in hand.

"Hi Jess." I shoved my hands in my pockets nervously.

"What brings you here? You're not – actually shopping – are you?" She asked mockingly.

"Well, yeah – actually. I am." The words coming out of my mouth sounded completely out of place.

Me – Bella Swan – shopping. Has hell frozen over?

"Oh." She cleared her throat. "What's the occasion?"

"Date." That was enough information, she didn't need to know my life story.

Jessica and I had remained acquaintances throughout the years, not really friends per say, but we were cordial to one and other when ever we spoke. Well, as cordial as possible in Jessica's case.

"About time you got over that Cullen guy." She snorted. So much for cordiality. "He was no good, I could tell."

Amazing how after so many years some people just never got over rejection. Jessica never forgave Edward for rejecting her in high school, he was in fact the only boy who had said no to her advances. I think she still hated me for dating him.

"So – are you looking for something dressy, casual or sexy?" She asked seemingly interested.

Were those my only options?

"Um… not a dress." No way in hell I would wear one. "Maybe a little dressy and sexy – but not trashy." I said feeling a little lame for not knowing how to really be _girly_.

"I don't carry trashy in my store Bella." She said a little annoyed. "What size are you anyway?" She shoved past me and started to tackle a clothing rack.

The hangers squealed and protested against the metal as she shoved them back and forth vengefully.

"I'm kind of between a small and medium." It had been so long since I had bought new clothes and frankly I wasn't sure what size I was.

Jessica turned her attention to me and eyed me up and down in concentration. She quickly returned back to the clothing rack and proceeded to pull out several tops. She made her way to another rack with pants and did the same.

"Here hold these." She shoved the clothes into my arms and went back to looking for more clothes.

There were clothes stacked clear up to my chin by the time she was done. She turned around and pushed me into the fitting room enthusiastically.

"Ok – go try them on, I'll wait out here and give you my opinion." She said with excitement.

Time to play human Barbie Doll. With an exasperated sigh I went into the dressing room and tried on several outfits.

"Doesn't fit right." Jessica scrutinized. "Too tight. Not edgy enough. Too plain."

After what felt like the fiftieth outfit I had had enough. I tried on a dark blue v-neck sweater that hugged my body in just the right places and some hip hugger jeans that really made my ass look good. The jeans had a floral patter in matching blue rhinestones on each of the back pockets. The sweater's v-neck scooped down just enough to reveal the top swell of my breasts, it really looked good.

I stood and looked at myself in the mirror and blushed at the thought of Jacob's reaction to the tight fitted clothes I had on. They were totally tasteful and not skanky in any way, but I still felt a little embarrassed.

"That's perfect!" Jessica squealed, popping her head into the dressing room. "Those jeans do wonders for you ass." She said blatantly.

I blushed shamefully. Maybe this was a little too much for a first date?

"Don't you think it's too much?" I asked timidly.

"Not at all, you look great, that color looks amazing on you." She seemed pleased with herself for finding it for me.

I let Jessica continue to gush over what a wonderful job she had done on me as she rung up my purchase. She managed to talk me into accessorizing my wardrobe with a black and blue necklace, faux emerald earrings and a pair of black wedge heel boots. Right as I was getting ready to leave, she stopped me.

"The perfect outfit is never complete without – the perfect lingerie." Before I could protest she walked over to the lingerie section of her store. "What size Swan?" She called out, racking through several bras.

"32B." I felt my cheeks get hot.

I never was one to buy sexy undergarments, Walmart and I had an understanding on comfortable cotton. But lacy and frilly were just too much for me.

She pulled out a black lace bra with a blue ribbon knit into the scalloped edge of the bra cup. The ribbon matched the sweater I had purchased perfectly. She then grabbed a pair of matching high cut panties.

"I don't know about this Jess…" I tried to protest, but was dismissed with a wave of a hand.

She rung up my offensively sexy lingerie and with a quick goodbye I headed back home.

I was exhausted from my day of shopping – I decided to try and take an hour nap before getting ready. I set my alarm and fell asleep amazingly without any difficulty. When my alarm went off I hurried to get ready, I jumped into the shower and made sure every last inch of me was clean.

My hair was styled in soft curls over my shoulders, I put a little bit of neutral eye shadow on followed by some mascara. I was going to try to put some eyeliner on, but thought better of it. I really didn't feel like ruining our date by making Jake take me to the hospital because I poked my eye out with eyeliner. They should really include a warning label on it. _Warning: Not for the uncoordinated!_

I rolled on some vanilla flavored lip-gloss and looked in the mirror satisfied. The door bell rang – I froze for a moment. I looked up at the clock on the bathroom wall – 3:58pm. Jacob was always very punctual. I took a deep calming breath and walked downstairs to answer the door.

"Wow – nice." Jacob looked me up and down appreciatively. "New outfit?" He looked at me with hunger veiled in the back of his eyes.

"Uh… yeah – kind of." I shrugged casually.

My cheeks got very, very hot. I took a step back and took a moment to appreciate the beauty which was Jacob Black. His hair was a sexy spiky mess. My eyes traveled down his body slowly as I took him in. He had on a fitted black t-shirt which showed off his perfectly sculpted biceps and abs and a pair of loose fitting jeans, which hung low on his hips. His right hand was tucked behind his back while his left hand was shoved into his front pocket. He flashed me a sexy smile as I looked at him hungrily.

"I feel a little casual now – next to you." He said taking a step inside.

"Don't – you look good." That was the understatement of the century.

"I – uh – brought you something." He said shyly.

His right hand slid out from behind his back to reveal a bunch of freshly picked wild flowers which he presented to me with the sweetest smile. I looked at him and then at the flowers in awe.

"Thank you so much Jake." I reached out and took the flowers from him, my fingers brushing against his softly – butterflies assaulted my stomach.

"I hope you like them." He said softly.

"I love them." I looked down appreciatively at the beautiful bouquet.

It was the perfect bunch of colorful redwood roses. Bright yellow ones with white rims, dark crimson red with a kiss of pink and bright white ones. Jacob had not missed a single detail, he had even taken the time to tie a simple white ribbon around the long stems decoratively.

I knew that redwood roses only grew near the Canadian border this time of year, I looked up at Jacob with amazement at his find.

"Where did you find these?" I asked in awe.

"I kind of had some time on my hands today. So I went for a run." He smiled brightly. "I didn't want to crush them with my teeth so I carried a basked with me."

"In your mouth?" I asked trying to picture a large russet wolf holding a basket in its mouth.

"Sort of." He said with chagrin.

"You're crazy." I chuckled.

"I know – but hey, it was worth it just seeing your face when I gave them to you." He smiled proudly.

My cup overflowed with happiness, I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around his waist in an appreciative hug. I buried my face into his chest and drunk in his musky, earthy scent.

"You're the best Jake." I mumbled against his chest.

"Well I wouldn't do that for just anyone you know?" He chuckled silently. "I probably looked pretty damn ridiculous carrying that basked with my teeth – and let me tell you – the drooling was very sexy."

His chest bobbed up and down with his laughter. I couldn't help joining in.

"Ok – so, shall we go?" He asked releasing me.

"Sure – let me put these in some water and get my coat." I said enthusiastically.

I hurried and filled a vase with water, after placing the flowers inside and setting it on the kitchen table I grabbed my jacket and headed outside with Jacob.

"Are you hungry?" He asked opening his truck's door for me.

"Yeah – a little I guess." I had only eaten a bowl of cereal this morning and my nerves had not settled enough for me to eat again.

I climbed into the seat and glanced in the back, there was a large picnic basket on the floor along with a medium sized ice chest.

"Where are we going?" I asked as he settled into the driver's seat.

"It's a surprise." He winked and started the engine.

We made small talk as we drove down the highway towards La Push. When we got to La Push, Jacob pulled off the side of the road. I looked over at him confused.

"Ok – a surprise isn't a surprise if you see it before it's time." He reached behind his seat and pulled out a bandana.

He folded it several times and held it out in both hands.

"You're not going to blindfold me – are you?" I asked nervously.

"Quit being a baby." He slid towards me with the bandana in hand. "If I don't it will ruin the surprise."

He smiled deviously and placed the blindfold over my eyes. I decided to play along and not give him a hard time. His large hands softly pulled my hair out of the way and tied the blindfold securely in place. I couldn't see a thing.

"Aren't you going to tie my hands behind my back?" I asked playfully.

"That's for later." He chuckled.

My stomach clenched hard – I shifted in my seat nervously. After a few minutes of silence the truck came to a stop. I heard the driver's side door open and then shut loudly followed by complete silence. The door next to me opened next with a gush of cold wind. I could smell the ocean breeze and hear the whining of seagulls in the background.

"Out you go." Jacob's large hands took me by the waist and pulled me out of the cab of the truck with ease.

He set me on the ground and took my hand.

"Come on." He said eagerly.

I took several cautious steps before I tripped and thudded against him.

"Easy." He chuckled.

After several more steps I tripped again – this time Jacob's arms caught me before I fell completely over.

"I think this will work better if I carry you."

Before I could protest I was swept up into his arms bridal style.

"I could have walked you know." I said with annoyance.

"Yeah – and then we'd get there tomorrow." I could practically picture in my mind how he was rolling his eyes.

The sound of waves crashing on the shore got louder and louder as Jacob carried me to an unknown destination. He came to a sudden stop and gently put me down on a soft surface. I could feel the warmth of a fire burning, its crackling and popping muffled by the crashing waves.

"I need to go back to the truck to get some stuff." Jacob said. "Can I trust you to sit here and not remove that blindfold until I come back?" He asked sternly.

"You want to leave me here alone _and _blindfolded?" What if someone came by and I didn't see them?

"Don't worry baby." Jacob chuckled softly. "I'll only be a minute or two. And we're completely alone here, no one is around." His soft touch on my shoulder was assuring.

"Hurry." I called out as I felt his hand leave my shoulder.

"I will." His voice called out from a distance.

I was left completely alone. The sound of the crashing waves, the crackling fire and seagulls were my only companions in my blindfolded darkness. I felt a hand behind my head and jumped startled.

"Relax Bells, it's me." Jake whispered softly.

My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest, he had really startled me with his sudden, silent approach. Jacob's hands untied and pulled the blindfold off slowly. I blinked and allowed my eyes to adjust to the light.

The first thing I saw was a large crackling fire. Its warm glow was inviting on this cold night. I then looked down beneath me, Jacob had set up several cushions on a large thick blanket on the sand. Beautiful, colorful wildflowers had been scattered around the entire area and there were several unlit lanterns propped in the sand surrounding us. The picnic basket and ice chest had been strategically set by the edge of the blanket. It was organic, romantic and very Jacob Black.

"When did you have the time to do all of this?" I asked incredulously.

"Well – I kind of cheated. Quil and Embry helped me out a bit." He sat down next to me on the blanket and took my hand in his. "Do you like it?" He asked shyly.

"I do." I said earnestly.

"Well I reckoned I better make this special." He raked his hand nervously through his hair. "Since this is our first real date." His cheeks turned slightly crimson at the last statement and he turned his eyes away from me shyly.

"It's perfect." I squeezed his hand lightly.

He turned back my way, his dark eyes lingered on mine with a sweet appreciative smile. I shivered from the intensity of it all.

"Are you warm enough?" Jacob asked concerned.

"Yeah." I was embarrassed I had been caught.

"I brought some extra blankets just in case it gets too cold for you." He said deeply.

It was such a sweet detail, but I had a feeling I wasn't going to be needing blankets with Jacob around, he always was so good at making sure I was kept warm in his arms. We stared out at the ocean in comfortable silence for a while and just took in the beautiful surroundings.

Jacob leaned over and pulled the picnic basked onto the blanket. He slowly lifted the lid and took out some cheese, crackers, grapes, several puffy golden brown pastries, a bag of lettuce and a jar of what looked like homemade dressing. He placed all the food on the blanket in between us and reached over for a bag, he took out some plates, utensils and napkins. He then opened the ice chest and pulled out, to my surprise, a bottle of white wine and a couple of sodas. Jacob hated wine, I had learned that a long time ago, but I had always loved it.

"Wine glass." He smiled proudly holding up a clear plastic cup.

He shuffled in his back pocket and pulled out his pocket knife. With a quick flip he pulled out the corkscrew attachment and opened the bottle of wine with ease. He poured half a cup full and offered it to me sweetly.

"Thanks Jake – you really didn't have to you know, I would have been happy with soda." I said earnestly.

"Sure, sure." He waved a hand at me dismissively. "Trust me, wine will probably go good with these."

He smacked his lips together and lifted a plate full of the puffy pastries.

"Emily's salmon dill puffs. Mmm…" He was practically salivating. "Ok – so I cheated again." He confessed. "Emmy put this all together." He pointed at the large spread in front of us. "But the wine was my idea." He smiled proudly.

I lifted the glass to my lips and took a small sip, it was light, crisp and fruity.

"This is really good Jake." I said taking another sip.

"I had to ask Charlie what kind you drank." He confessed with chagrin.

"And he didn't give you a hard time for potentially getting his daughter drunk?" I asked in mock surprise.

"I think the old man _wants_ me to get you drunk." His deep chuckle echoed around us.

"Ha ha Black, very funny." I rolled my eyes playfully.

Jacob filled two large plates with food and handed me one while placing the other on his lap. He wasted no time in lifting a large salmon puff to his lips and taking a huge bite out of it. He groaned appreciatively as he chewed. I loved watching Jacob eat, he always did it with so much appreciation to whoever had prepared the meal.

I took a small bite out of the salmon puff; light, pillowy, flakey pastry surrounding creamy salty salmon and dill goodness. It was heaven on a plate. My tender anxious stomach welcomed the nourishment, while my taste buds soared from its yummyness.

Emily had to be one of the best cooks in La Push. She had convinced Sam to open up a little café on the rez, and of course, she didn't have to do much convincing, Sam would have given her anything she ever asked for.

I lifted the cup of wine to my lips and took another small sip – Jacob had been right, the wine was a perfect match to the meal. I watched Jacob grab a handful of grapes and toss them up in the air one by one, and then catching them in his mouth.

"Remind me to get Emily's recipe for these." I pointed to the salmon puffs. "They are delicious."

"I know." He tossed another grape up into the air and caught it skillfully with his mouth. "You know I am not very fond of salmon but these things are heaven." He picked another puff up and shoved the entire thing in his mouth. "S'goo…" He mumbled through a full mouth.

There was comfortable silence between us as we finished eating. The sun started to go down and it was starting to get a little chilly, I crossed my arms over my chest in an attempt at keeping warm. I knew that Jacob would get worried if I showed that I was too cold, so I tried to be casual about it.

I watched as Jacob grabbed a large piece of wood and moved the firewood around.

"Are you warm enough?" He asked adding a few more pieces of wood to the fire.

"It's starting to get a little chilly." I admitted timidly.

"Well come here then."

He smiled sweetly and opened his arms to me, I crawled over to him and sat next to him, allowing his arms to wrap around me protectively. The warmth of his skin was both inviting and comforting. Without warning, he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me over his leg until I was sitting between both of his thighs, his arms encircled me.

"There… Isn't that better?" He leaned his chin on my shoulder.

"Yeah." I said breathlessly.

We sat and watched the sky turn pink, orange and red as the sun started its decent into the horizon. The waves crashed melodically upon the shore lulling me into a trance like state. I was perfectly warm, comfortable and relaxed in Jacob's embrace.

"I really like this new outfit on you." His hands rubbed up and down my shoulders softly. "This color looks really good on you Bells. You should wear blue more often."

My face felt hotter. "Uh – thanks." I must have been blushing bad.

Jacob's chest rose and fell with his silent laughter as he captured a curl in between his long fingers.

"And thanks for wearing your hair down." He added appreciatively.

"Well, you said you liked it better like this – so I thought I'd try it out." I didn't want to sound too eager to want to please him, even though everything I had done today had been for just that one purpose.

"You're the best." He whispered huskily and nuzzled his nose into my neck.

There was a comfort in how casual we were being with one and other, Jacob and I had never had a problem with comfort – well except for that time when he avoided me, but that was only because he was trying to protect me, and not because he was purposely trying to hurt me.

His hands found mine, his long fingers threaded casually through mine over and over again. This was new. I was no stranger to holding Jake's hand, but he'd never played with my hands like he was doing right now.

"That feels nice." I admitted to him as our fingers caressed one and others.

You would think that Jacob's hands would be rough and callused with all of the work he did on cars, but they were actually very smooth and soft.

"Mmm… yeah?" He asked in a dreamlike tone.

"Mhmm…" I hummed in agreement.

I watched dreamily as his large russet hands engulfed my small pale hands over and over again. Jacob's nose nuzzled into my neck again softly, he took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"You smell good." He whispered huskily. "Like vanilla and strawberries."

"Strawberry shampoo." I pointed out. "And vanilla lip gloss. But that probably rubbed off when I ate." I felt like I was babbling.

Even with as comfortable and casual as we were being, my stupid nerves started to get the better of me.

"Mmm… sound yummy." He growled playfully. "Can I taste?"

He squeezed his arms around me a little tighter and then released with a breathy chuckle. Was he serious, or just being playful? He didn't say anything else, he seemed to drop the subject as soon as he had brought it up, but I was now curious and wanting to give him a taste, if that's what he really wanted.

"Yes." I said breathlessly.

"Hmm?" Jacob hummed dreamily.

"If – if you want." I whispered. "To taste." I clarified, just so there would be no confusion as to what I had meant.

We both sat there still and silent. His hands stopped moving against mine and my heart was beating loudly in my ears. _Come on Bella, you're an adult now, you can do this. _I gave myself a silent pep talk. I shifted my body in his arms and turned towards him.

Jacob's eyes met mine with an intensity I had not seen before from him. He looked at me almost as if he were studying my expression. I watched lustfully as his bottom lip slowly moved inwards and his tongue swept across it, moistening his lips invitingly.

I couldn't take my eyes off of his mouth. My own tongue moved on its own accord sweeping across my lips. A light taste of vanilla lingered on my tongue as I waited for Jacob's next move.

Jacob's right hand left mine and slowly slid up my arm, he didn't break eye contact once as his hand softly ran over my elbow and up towards my shoulders. I shivered as he reached my neck, his fingertips softly brushing over the hollow of my neck and then coming up to rest on my right cheek.

My breath hitched in the back of my throat as his large soft thumb slid out and slowly caressed my bottom lip. I swallowed hard as I watched him bring his thumb towards his mouth, his lips parted and he slowly slid his thumb in between them sucking it into his mouth. He slid it out with a slight popping sound.

"Mmm… yummy." A crooked smile played on his lips. "So… do you want some dessert?" His crooked smile turned into a full on grin, his beautiful white teeth glowing brightly.

"What?" I asked a little dumbfounded.

Was that it? He swept his thumb across my lips and he took a taste of it – somehow I had expected – well, more. I kinda had been expecting a kiss and not a casual thumb suck. I felt a little let down and annoyed. Hadn't I sent out the right signals to him? Was I in any way not clear that I wanted him to taste _my_ lips? Ugh!

"Dessert." He repeated. "Do you want any?" He squeezed me in between his arms casually. "Emmy sent us some chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Mmm… and I have a surprise for later."

He licked his lips with anticipation. God, how could he possibly be thinking of food at a time like this? We had just been literally inches away from… _Ugh, never mind, get over it Bella. _

I watched him reach over to the basket and pull out a large zip top bag full of large round chocolate chip cookies. He carefully opened the bag and handed me a cookie.

"No thanks, you go ahead." I wasn't in the mood for food right now.

"Awe c'mon Bells, its Emmy's famous chocolate chip cookies." He waved the offending cookie in front of my face. "Light and crunchy outside and soft and chewy inside." He pinched off a piece and placed it in his mouth. "Mmm… melts in your mouth." He taunted.

He closed his eyes enjoying his cookie, he then brought the cookie to my lips and shoved it closer to my closed mouth.

"Bite." He instructed.

"You know – I'm not one of your pack members that you can just boss around." I snapped at him still a little annoyed and turned away from him.

"What's with you?" He asked surprised.

I sighed in exasperation. "It's – nothing. Just – enjoy your cookie." I stared out at the waves still feeling a little annoyed.

"Ok." He said casually and proceeded to enjoy the rest of his cookie.

Ugh! Jacob Black was the most exasperating man I'd ever met in my entire life. I continued to watch with annoyance as the waves crashed upon the shore. Maybe this had all been a huge mistake. I was seriously ready to throw in the towel when I felt Jacob's arms encircle me again and with a light tug he laid us both back on the blanket, his right arm resting behind his neck while his left arm created a comfortable pillow for my head.

"It sure is peaceful out here." He said in a soft husky voice.

We lay there in silence for what felt like forever watching the stars slowly pop into the night sky.

"I'm sorry I upset you." He sighed deeply.

I didn't say anything in response, I had been a little annoyed, but not upset.

"I didn't mean to ruin things." He continued softly.

"You didn't." I couldn't bare the thought that he was blaming himself for my annoyance.

Jacob was my best friend and always went beyond the call of duty to make me happy and comfortable, and now – I was the one that was acting like a spoiled child throwing an unnecessary tantrum. What was wrong with me?

"I know you what you wanted Bella…" He trailed off with a sigh. "But – s'just that I don't want to ruin things by rushing into anything, I'm prepared to take things slow."

He wanted to go slow. How slow was slow? I guess I could understand the logic behind not rushing, but we were both adults and we obviously had an attraction towards one and other, so why should we be so cautious and move at the pace of a snail?

"Slow…" I sighed.

"Yup." He popped the P. "Slow." He stated again with conviction.

I bit the corner of my bottom lip anxiously.

"So, exactly _how_ slow is _slow_?" I didn't dare take my eyes off of the night sky, I don't think I could bare looking at his face right now.

He sighed deeply. "You're not going to make this very easy on me – are you?" He asked point blank.

"W-what?" I stuttered nervously.

"You're really testing my self control here Bells." He admitted openly.

I blushed at the thought of Jacob losing control with me. God, if only… I'm not even going to finish that thought.

"Really?" I asked curiously.

He let out a loud breath. "Do you honestly think this is easy for me?" I felt him stir next to me, but I didn't look his way. "Hey…" He said huskily. "Look at me."

His voice had taken on the Alpha dominance I loved so much and I was unable to resist. I turned my head and looked at him timidly.

"I've wanted you for as long as I can remember Bella." He stopped and studied my face with darkened eyes, I felt my stomach clench. "And now – I feel like I might be dreaming."

"Why?" I asked earnestly.

"Because Bella." He said exasperated. "There you are – looking at me with the most amazingly adorable doe eyes and begging me to kiss you – the one thing I've dreamt of doing for the longest time – and I just can't wrap my head around it. – I just can't believe it's really happening."

Was that what this was really all about? He didn't believe that what I felt for him was real?

"I want you too Jake." I admitted breathlessly, my thighs squeezed together involuntarily easing a bit of tension that was building between them.

"You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that." He sighed and closed his eyes in thought. "Bella…" He whispered huskily. "I'm only going to ask you this one time – and then I swear I won't ever bring it up again if you say no." He took a deep breath and held it in.

"Go on Jake." I encouraged him breathlessly.

"Do you really want me to kiss you?"

And there it was, point blank and with no sugar coating, Jacob Black wanted to know if I wanted him to kiss me. I was prepared to kiss him if he tried, I was prepared to kiss him if I tried, but I wasn't prepared to be asked point blank if that is what I wanted from him.

His candor both shocked and excited me. I wanted to blurt out _YES_, but didn't want to seem _too_ desperate, and I wanted to just lunge at him and devour his lips, but then again – that _too_ would seem _very desperate_.

So without thinking and overanalyzing this to pieces I simply looked him strait in the eyes with all of my heart and all of the honesty within me and replied with a breathless _yes_.

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**OK before you all go send out the lynch mob after me, I had to stop where I stopped. This chapter was about the date, the next chapter will be all about… well I think you can guess. No NOT a lemon! :-P **_

_**I'm not prepared to get Jake and Bella into the sack just yet, so be patient. **_

_**Please let me know what you all thought of this chapter. **_

_**PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO REVIEW :) **_


	7. AWAKENINGS

**AWAKENINGS**

Jacob's eyes narrowed and his brows came together.

"How badly do you want it Bella?" He asked in a dominant tone.

This was a side of Jacob I hadn't seen before, well, not towards me. This was the Alpha Jacob, the pack leader and not my sunny, carefree best friend Jacob. My body shivered under the intensity of his darkened eyes.

He leaned in closer to me, the light from the fire flickering across his russet skin, his eyes dark and intense waiting for my response. How was I going to respond to him? What to say? Would a simple yes suffice?

"Yes." I said breathlessly.

"Yes – what?" His face got closer to mine.

"I – I – want it." I fumbled over my words nervously, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of his lips.

"Mmm..." He growled pressing his lips together invitingly. "You know – that could be taken in a different way Bella."

Oh my God, was he twisting my words around – _sexually_? A shiver ran up my spine as I watched him bite down on his bottom lip, his eyes slowly traveling up and down my body, my nipples instantly became hard under his gaze.

This was definitely a side of Jacob Black I had never seen before. He was making me melt into a puddle of goo with his eyes. He leaned in a little closer, my breath hitched in the back of my throat. I could smell his musky, earthy scent on the wind, feel his body's heat radiating against mine.

"I'm – I didn't mean it that way…" I stuttered out nervously.

God, what's wrong with me? I really need to get it together.

"Then which way did you mean it?" He chuckled deeply.

He lay there looking at me through intense eyes. A hint of a smirk playing on his full lips. My mouth dropped open with a little squeak.

"Yes Miss Swan?" Jacob chuckled deeply.

"Do you want to kiss me Jacob?" I asked without reservations.

His eyes darkened at my question. His arm behind my neck shifted and I felt his large hand softly cradle the back of my head.

"Do you honestly not know the answer to that question?" His face softened.

He looked at me with loving eyes, his fingers softly threading through my hair and massaging the back of my scalp.

"I see it every day in your eyes…" I admitted softly.

His mouth dropped open slightly at my words.

"Bella – I…" He trailed off leaving his sentence unfinished.

I took his cue and leaned forward until our lips were just millimeters apart. His trembling breath escaped past his parted lips and into my partially opened mouth. The taste of sweet earthy musk instantly filling my wanting mouth. Our lips brushed up against each others.

Electricity.

The heat of his mouth was both tempting and inviting. I moaned out lightly from the contact.

"God – Bells, you're killing me." He whispered huskily.

Jacob's hand tightened in my hair and he pulled me into him suddenly crushing his lips against mine. I whimpered into his mouth from the sudden intensity of it all. His hand slowly released its grip in my hair and his lips parted softly against mine, the intensity was now gone and replaced with tenderness. His other hand came up to cup my check softly as his lips moved slowly against mine.

My head was spinning, Jacob's lips were strong, soft and perfect. They molded against mine effortlessly in soft languid open mouthed kisses. He trapped my bottom lip between his and sucked it into his mouth, his tongue lightly sweeping across the length of it causing me to whimper again.

"Mmm… you like that?" He asked in a deep whisper as his lips once again sucked my bottom lip in and his tongue slid across it.

He didn't give me a chance to respond as his mouth continued its soft torture to my lips, teasing them with his tongue, but never letting me taste that which I wanted so much. I captured Jacob's top lip between mine and slid my tongue slowly across its length. I felt him tremble lightly as I released his top lip and pressed my mouth against his once again.

Jacob slowly moved his hand from my hair and brought it back to cup my face alongside his other hand. My head was softly laid down against the blanket as I felt his body shift towards mine. I knew what he wanted, and I wanted it so badly now. I needed him on top of me, I wanted to feel the delicious heat of his body against mine.

My hands reached out to him, I slid them down his ribcage feeling every hard muscle of his torso all the way to his waist as our lips moved perfectly in sync with each other. In a silent request I pulled lightly at his waist, hoping that he would follow my lead.

I was not left disappointed, Jacob took my hint and slowly shifted his body closer to mine, he slid effortlessly and gently above my body, never once breaking our kiss. The heat of his skin instantly warming my entire body as he settled himself on top of me. I gasped in his mouth as out bodies made contact.

With a soft groan Jacob's tongue pushed its way past my lips and into my mouth. I could taste a hint of chocolate as our tongues danced together. My hands snaked around his waist and onto his back, I couldn't help myself, I tugged at the back of his shirt until the soft skin of his muscular back was exposed to me. I ran my fingertips and nails lightly over his waist, to the small of his back and then up his spine. Jacob gasped and pushed his lips against mine with more urgency.

His hands left my face and slid down my neck, over my shoulders and under my arms. My breath hitched in the back of my throat when I felt him brush lightly over the swell of my breasts, my body instantly coming to attention with his touch. I groaned and pressed my hips up into his stomach.

"Fuck." He cursed softly and crushed his lips against mine once again.

His hands gripping at my body for dear life, rubbing down to my waist and then back up pulling my sweater up more and more with every stroke. We both hissed into each other's mouths as the skin from our exposed stomachs came into contact. My hips rose off of the blanket once again on their own free will and rolled into Jacob's stomach. My clit was on fire.

I desperately tugged up on Jacob's shirt wanting to rid him of the offending piece of clothing that was keeping me from his intoxicatingly hot skin. Luckily I didn't have to struggle long, Jacob took my hint and with one quick tug pulled his shirt off, breaking our kiss for only a few seconds. The shirt was tossed somewhere as his lips came back down on mine.

Jacob's hands returned to my hips, his fingertips hesitantly found the hem of my sweater and pulled up lightly. I groaned as our stomachs made contact with each other. His hot skin waking every single nerve in my body, my hips rolled upwards. His large thumbs swept inwards, caressing the newly exposed skin, making me shiver under his touch.

"Ja-cob." I gasped arching my back up pressing my body closer to his.

Jacob's mouth and hands came to a sudden stop. Confused, I pressed my lips against his again and ran my hands up his back, but received no response.

"God Bells I'm sorry." He groaned and rolled off of me.

He quickly sat up and reached over for his shirt. I looked up at him with complete confusion as he slid his shirt back on.

"W – what's wrong?" I was still panting.

I sat back up and pulled my sweater back down over my jeans, my face felt so hot.

"I'm so sorry I did that." He buried his head into his hands and refused to look at me.

"What? What did you do?" I mean, he didn't touch me inappropriately or anything, was I missing something?

"I – I just shouldn't have done that Bella." He mumbled under his hands.

"Jacob Black, what the hell are you talking about?" I asked exasperated.

He looked up at me with confusion and shame.

"All you wanted was a kiss…" He trailed off. "Not a grope session." He ground his teeth together loudly, his jaw clenched tightly.

"You weren't – groping me." I let out an exasperated huff.

"I just had my hands all over you Bella." He looked away from me ashamed. "I totally took advantage of that moment. How can't you fucking see that?" He turned to me quickly and then back away when our eyes made contact.

Ok, this was not going to work, there was no way I was going to let him do any more self bashing on my account. First he got pissed at himself for sleeping in my bed, and now this? Way to ruin a perfect date Jacob Black.

"Hey." I huffed out loudly trying to get his attention focused back on me.

Jacob turned to look at me, his jaw still tightly clenched.

"Don't." Was the only thing I could think of saying. He just couldn't do this, not now.

"What?" He glared at me.

"Don't act this way Jacob. I am just as guilty of _groping_ you as you are of doing it to me. And just in case you didn't get the memo Jacob Black, I was enjoying myself." I crossed my arms tightly across my chest.

Jacob's mouth dropped open.

"But Bella…" He whispered.

"But nothing Jake. You are the most exasperating person I know Jacob Black!" I threw my hands up in the air.

I turned away from him and glared at the fire. There was silence for several minutes, neither one of us spoke a single word. Then I felt two hot hands against my shoulders. I looked over at Jacob's apologetic face.

"I'm sorry – I keep fucking things up." He pulled me close to him and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. "I'm an idiot."

He then leaned in unexpectedly and kissed my neck.

"I'm sorry." He whispered against my skin brushing another soft kiss against my neck. "Can I make it up to you Bells?" His tongue slowly licked up the length of my neck causing me to shiver.

I was panting again. "God Jake…" I moaned softly as his teeth nibbled at the place where my neck and shoulder connected.

"Mmm…" His body slid up against my back as he continued this delicious new torture to my neck.

His hands found their way to my waist, his fingertips tracing up and down my ribcage as his teeth kept grazing and nipping at my neck. My body was trembling and I was moaning so loud it was embarrassing. If he kept this up, I was going to pounce on him and never look back.

"Ok…" I panted. "Ok…" I dug my nails into the blanket, my toes were curling.

"Hmm?" Jacob's lips and tongue kept licking and sucking on my pulse point driving me to the brink of insanity.

It took every ounce of strength I had in me to pull away slowly from him. He looked at me with confusion at first and then it seemed like a light bulb clicked on in his head, his confusion was quickly replaced by a huge grin.

"Sorry." I panted, smoothing out my ruffled hair.

"S'ok." He smiled and chuckled deeply.

He leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the lips and got up. I watched him take a long stick and light it in the fire, he then proceeded to light every lantern in the sand around us. The flames danced and twinkled in the darkness surrounding us in a warm glow.

"Are you ready for more?" Jacob's eyebrows waggled as he sat back down next to me.

"I – I don't think I can handle any more…" I said nervously.

"Are you sure?" He asked reaching behind himself.

"Uh – yeah, pretty sure, I think that was enough…" I was cut off by Jacob's deep sniggering laughter as he pulled out the picnic basket from behind himself.

"Oh, well then I guess I'll just have to make these S'mores and eat them alone." He nonchalantly pulled out a box of graham crackers, a package of marshmallows and chocolate bars from the basket.

I'm such an idiot, and now I was blushing. Jacob shot me a wink and a brilliant smile as he took two long sticks and skewered two marshmallows on each tip. He handed me a stick shyly.

"You are going to have some, right?" He asked with the cutest puppy dog eyes.

"Uh – yeah." I looked at him with chagrin.

We placed our marshmallow topped sticks into the fire and spun our sticks round and round. The marshmallows sizzled as the flames licked their edges, turning them light brown and then darker as we turned the sticks.

Jacob's marshmallows caught fire, he quickly pulled the stick from the fire and I watched his full lips pucker then blow out the flames. He handed me two graham crackers and a wedge of chocolate.

"Yummy." He raised his brows and I watch him sandwich his marshmallows between the graham crackers and chocolate.

He wasted no time in shoving the entire thing into his mouth with a satisfied groan. I took small bites out of my S'mores, to which Jacob rolled his eyes. Well, I wasn't about to pig out in front of him, no way, no how.

When we finished Jacob threw both of our sticks into the fire and lay back onto the blanket satisfied. I watched his stomach as it rose and fell with every deep breath he took, my stomach clenched.

"Come here." Jacob's deep voice broke my stare.

I looked down at him, his sweet eyes beckoned me as he patted the space next to him and offered me his hand. I gladly took it and lay down next to him on the blanket.

"Are you having fun?" He asked wrapping his large arm around my waist and pulling me into his body.

"Yeah – it's been real nice Jake. Thanks." I looked up into his deep dark eyes.

"Me too." He leaned down and nuzzled his nose against mine.

My breath hitched in the back of my throat. Jacob smiled ever so slightly as he leaned in to kiss my nose, followed by my right cheek and then my left. My body was trembling again. I closed my eyes as he placed one soft kiss on each of my eyelids, he then kissed my chin and then stopped just above my lips.

"Bella…" He whispered deeply.

His lips barely brushed against mine, sending shivers up my spine. He whispered my name again, pulling my body closer to his and then softly pecked my lips. One soft peck was followed by another, and then another.

My head was swimming. My hands became restless at my sides I reached up and threaded them into Jacob's hair, pulling him into me and pressing my lips against his. His lips parted against mine with a deep satisfied sigh, his tongue reaching out and sweeping across mine. I groaned.

"I love how you taste Bells." He moaned against my lips.

The taste of chocolate, marshmallow, earthy musk filled my mouth as he deepened our kiss, my hands gripping into his hair harder and pulling him into me roughly. Jacob's hands squeezing my waist and crushing me against his hard body.

His right hand slid down my waist and over my hip, he paused hesitantly there as if asking for permission. I shifted slightly onto my side giving him permission to do as he wished. Jacob's hand uncertainly slid to the small of my back and then back to my hip.

"It's ok." I panted and crushed my lips against his again.

He groaned into my mouth and slid his hand over the curve of my ass, my hips instantly bucking towards him. I hissed into his mouth as his fingertips slowly caressed up and down my entire length. I shivered.

"Are you cold?" He asked breaking our kiss.

"No…"I trailed off capturing his bottom lip and biting down on it lightly.

Jacob groaned and squeezed my entire ass cheek in his large hand roughly. A deep growl vibrating in the pit of his chest. My body was on fire. I threw my thigh over his and scooted my body into him. His hand wasted no time in exploring the contours of my curves gently squeezing and kneading.

"Is this ok?" He broke our kiss with a gasp.

"Yes." I was panting into his mouth, my hips desperately rolling into his leg.

"I – I don't want to push you too far Bella." He groaned and squeezed my ass again.

"No…" I shook my head furiously and continued to kiss him intensely. "Please." I panted against his lips. "Ja-cob." I groaned as his large hand squeezed me tighter.

My head was completely lost, all reason had exited my thoughts and all I could register was Jacob. Jacob was everywhere, he was everything in that moment. I reached down and tugged up on his shirt, I wanted it off. Jacob's fingers gently brushed up against mine and removed my hands from the hem of his shirt. He sighed deeply into my mouth.

"Bells honey, we can't." He groaned between kisses.

The hand that was on my ass moved and came to rest on my hip. God I wanted to be pissed at him, but I couldn't, as much as my body was burning for him, this just wasn't the place nor the time to do anything like that.

"I'm sorry." I whispered against his lips pulling my body away from his slightly.

"Don't be." He growled playfully and pulled me closer again. "I just don't want to rush Bella. I've waited for this for so long." He kissed my lips softly.

I felt horrible, poor Jacob – having to wait for so many years for me to make up my fickle mind. I was completely and irrevocably ashamed of my self and couldn't look at him.

"I'm sorry Jake." I whispered shakily.

His arms squeezed around me. "What are you apologizing for silly? S'ok I don't care – I'm prepared to take my time you know." He said lightheartedly.

"That's not what I mean." I groaned.

I looked up and saw Jacob's face, his eyes filled with confusion.

"I'm sorry I made you wait for so long." There I said it.

Jacob's eyes lit up with understanding, he then leaned in a kissed me chastely on my lips.

"No need for apologies honey. Better late than never." He flashed me a reassuring smile.

I attempted to smile back but felt horrible inside. It didn't matter how many times I pulled poor Jacob's heart out of his chest and trampled all over it, he always came back to me with a huge grin, ever the faithful puppy dog chasing happily after it's owner. I didn't deserve him.

"What's wrong Bella?" Jacob's voice took on concern, he shook me lightly in his arms to grab my attention.

"Nothing." I looked at him with a weak smile.

"Don't do that." He growled lightly. "I know what you're doing, don't shut me out like that Bella."

He's right, I am shutting him out, but not because of anything he's done wrong, it's only because of my own stupid hang ups and guilt.

I sighed deeply. "You don't deserve to be treated the way I've treated you Jake." I started off in a small whispered voice. "I've – you've always been so faithful to our friendship – no matter how many times I've pushed you away from me and I just want you to know that it hasn't gone without notice."

I felt my body tremble slightly, the tears threatening to spill over as I spoke. Jacob's mouth dropped open slightly and his eyes looked sad – so sad.

"I know that you wanted more. All these years – I knew and I was too stupid and hung up on my past to look past our friendship and let you into my heart."

"Bells…" Jacob whispered.

"No – let me finish." I needed to get this off of my chest, and his interruptions were not going to make it any easier on me. "You've always been in my heart you know." I took his hand in mine, slowly lacing my fingers through his. "Even when I was too stupid and stubborn to admit it, there was always a piece of you in me Jake." I smiled softly.

Jacob's head tilted to the side and his eyes narrowed softly.

"You've always been my sunshine – the warmth that guided me back from all the nightmares and the endless abyss of my past sorrows. You have no idea how much I've needed you. And – you've never disappointed me, you've always been there for me every day without questions." I took in another deep shaky breath.

"Except for when I first found out I was a wolf." He sighed deeply with the memory. "I totally let you down."

"No, Jake, you did what you thought was best for me." I wasn't going to let him feel bad about it – that was never my intention. "You were only trying to protect me and make sure I was safe."

"Yeah…" He snorted. "Safe from the monster I'd become." His jaw clenched and his brows furrowed. "I had no idea if I could control my tempter around anyone and I was petrified that I would hurt you. Some best friend I turned out to be."

"Jake – no, you did what was best. Please don't regret your decisions, I know I don't." I trailed off with a whisper.

"Are you sure?" He asked huskily.

"Positive." I reassured.

"You have no idea how fucking hard it was to stay away from you Bella." His words came out in a low tremble, I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"I know…" I whispered back.

I lifted my hand and softly caressed his cheek, his face leaned into me with a low growling sigh. His tortured eyes looked to me and away from me and then closed.

"Jake…" I was cut off by his lips suddenly on mine.

A new deepened intensity was revealed to me in this kiss. It was like he was holding on to my entire body with his lips. His arms wrapped around my back holding me tightly against his body as his tongue probed deeply and passionately into my mouth. I wrapped my arms around him and held him with all my strength and still I felt a world apart from him.

As if he were reading my mind Jacob pulled away softly and whispered; "I'm here Bells – with you." And then his lips came back down upon mine, softly, gently and with a passion I never knew Jacob Black possessed. My heart stirred inside of my chest as if it were awakening from a long dark slumber.

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**PLEASE REVIEW :) **

_**A/N:**_

_**First off let me apologize for making you all wait for so long for this chapter. It's been a crazy month filled with visiting families and holidays. I should resume a regular schedule again here shortly. **_

_**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I know I enjoyed writing it very much.**_

Please do not forget to REVIEW and let me know what you thought.


	8. WHEN STORM CLOUDS MOVE IN

**WHEN STORM CLOUDS MOVE IN **

Everything was perfect, Jacob was sweet, gentle romantic and just rough enough to make my head spin. We cuddled under the stars for hours until I grew sleepy. Jacob, being the sweet caring man that he is, made sure I didn't lift a finger as he hurriedly packed our things away and took them back to the truck. After extinguishing the fire and ensuring no trash was left behind, he drove me back home.

The drive back to Forks was filled with comfortable silence. A soft stolen touch, a strong protective arm wrapped around me or a soft kiss pressed gently against my temple, simple stolen moments from Jake, showing me just how much he truly cares.

"Down you go." Jacob's large hands placed me down onto the driveway.

"I'm not a child you know." I rolled my eyes at him playfully. "I'm a big girl now you know, and very capable of getting out of your truck without needing you to carry me Jacob Black." I shot him a look of annoyance.

"S'just that the truck's so big – and you're so…"

"Alright, stop it right there buddy." I interrupted placing my hand against his chest. "Don't you dare say it Jacob. I am Not built like a little girl. I'm actually quite average for my height, thank you very much! And it's not my fault you're a giant freak of nature." I pushed my hip out with a loud huff.

Jacob's face lit up into the most beautiful smile.

"I love how cute and little you are Bells." He took my hand in his and caressed it, looking at my small hand in his large hand lovingly. "Makes me feel needed when I can help and protect you.

Ok, now he was making me melt. My knees felt weak and my stomach was swarmed by butterflies.

"You can try and charm your way out of this one, but it's not going to work with me. I know you too well Jacob." I took a wobbly step away from him.

"And exactly – how _well _is it that you know me Bella?" He took a step towards me, his body pressed up against mine.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I was momentarily rendered mute as he licked his lips invitingly and looked at me with those deep dark eyes, my heart swooned. God what was he doing to me? What were we talking about? Everything went blank as his lips found mine. His hand reached up to caress my cheek as my lips submitted and parted against his.

My knees felt weak, I teetered but Jacob's long arm was there to steady me. A low chuckle escaped his lips as his tongue found mine.

"What was that?" He asked smugly.

"What ever Jake." I rolled my eyes at him and playfully shoved him away from me.

He walked me to the front door and paused to look at me and then at the closed door.

"Are you staying?" I asked casually. I really didn't want to sleep alone tonight.

"Bells…" He groaned almost painfully and lowered his gaze.

"Not a good idea, huh?" I bit my bottom lip nervously.

We had talked a lot tonight about us taking things _slow._ Mainly Jacob trying to convince me why it was the right thing to do.

"_We need to set some boundaries Bells if we're really going to do this."_ He had said. _"There's absolutely no reason why we need to rush things. Trust me."_ He'd smiled at me so sweetly it took my breath away. It was pointless trying to argue with him, he had his mind set.

As much as I fought the idea in my head, I knew Jacob was right and that I had now just crossed the invisible line.

"I'm sorry." I half whispered with a heavy sigh.

"No Bells." He quickly cupped my face in between his large warm hands. "Please don't apologize, cuz then I'm gonna feel rotten." His eyes looked tortured. "We agreed to take our time and not rush, right?" His eyes frantically searched mine for answers.

"Right." I smiled weakly.

Jacob smiled back confidently. "I don't know for sure Bella, but…" He paused to look me up and down hungrily. "I have a feeling it'll be worth the wait."

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped from my lips.

"Quit it you perv." I smacked his chest playfully.

"That's my girl." He smiled proudly and leaned in for a peck.

Just as our lips were about to touch Jacob froze, his carefree playful smile hardened into a bitter scowl as his head snapped around towards the street. I followed his angry gaze with confusion.

Mike Newton walked out of the shadows towards my house holding a dozen yellow roses. He walked slowly and almost cautiously towards us looking back and forth between Jacob and me.

"Hey Bella…" Mike's confusion was clearly filtered through his voice.

"Uh – hey Mike." I stepped out from behind the wall of russet muscle in front of me.

Talk about horrible timing.

"What the hell is _he _doing here?" Jacob spat out, his body trembling lightly.

"Jacob relax." I warned in a hushed voice.

"Uh – I think that's between me and Bella." Mike took a step onto the front porch confidently. "Do you mind calling off your guard dog Bell?" Mike shot an annoyed look at Jacob.

I couldn't resist a strangled giggle. Mike had no idea Jake was a wolf, which made his comment so much funnier to me.

"Oh that's just fucking great!" Jacob's hands shot up into the air in exasperation. "Go ahead and fucking laugh it up with him Bella." He glared back at Mike.

"What's your problem?" Mike asked getting further annoyed by Jacob's outburst, his fists tightly balled up at his sides.

What the hell was he thinking? Jacob could easily kill him.

"My problem is that you have fucking used her for your own fucking selfish perverted needs and it makes me fucking sick!" Jacob took a step forward pushing me to the side.

"Jake!" I cried out. "Stop!"

"Damn it Bella! Why the hell can't you open your pretty little brown eyes and see it?" He growled at me. "He's a fucking user!"

Jacob's eyes were willed with fire. He looked like he was going to lose it at any minute, I had to calm him down. I couldn't risk him phasing in front of Mike.

"Jake please." I pleaded, lowering the tone of my voice in an attempt at calming him down.

Jacob turned to face me. Gone was the sweet carefree man I had spent the evening with, he was replaced by a dark, sinister and intimidating looking wild man on the verge of snapping. I cringed from the anger projected off of his face towards me.

"You need to seriously clean out some _major_ skeletons from your closet Isabella Swan." He hissed through his tightly clenched teeth.

His words cut through me like a sharp knife.

"Don't you think she would have sent me away already if she didn't want me here?" Mike chose the worst possible moment to add his opinion.

"Mike please" I pleaded.

I took a cautious step towards Mike and placed my hand on his shoulder. There was no way I'd be able to physically back Jake down, but I knew I could handle Mike.

Huge mistake.

Jacob cursed and growled so loud, that I'm sure every neighbor on my block heard it and stormed off towards his truck with out another word. He got inside slamming the door closed behind him and quickly started the engine. The wheels of his truck screeched loudly as he peeled out of the driveway and down the street. Leaving me dumbfounded with my mouth agape.

Mike stood in front of me stupidly staring down the empty dark road.

"What the hell is his problem?" He finally asked.

I felt the blood in my body boil over. How dare Jacob get mad at me? A few kisses didn't give him the fucking right to go all caveman and possessive on me!

"Just go!" I spat out at Mike. "Leave."

"I didn't do anything Bella. You're buddy Jacob is the one who fucking lost it. Don't blame me for that." Mike looked at me with pleading eyes. "Come on, no need to let that idiot ruin our night."

He placed his hand on my shoulder but I quickly smacked it away. I didn't want him touching me.

"Please, just leave." I didn't have it in me to argue anymore

"Fine." He looked at me with anger and stormed off towards his car throwing the flowers on the ground.

In the distance a loud howl pierced through the darkness. I knew that howl like the back of my hand. _Damn it Jacob!_ I turned around with an exasperated huff of air and opened the front door, slamming it loudly behind me. I plopped down on to the couch and it really hit me. Jacob was gone.

After the most amazing, the most incredible date ever, he left me, and now I was utterly alone. The tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated?

I got up upset at myself for breaking down and stormed upstairs. I quickly peeled off my clothes and took a long hot shower to try and wash the sand and smell of smoke from the fire out of my hair and body, along with any further memory of this fantasy date gone horribly wrong.

I went back downstairs and grabbed the blanket off of the back of the couch and curled up into a ball pulling the blanket over my head. The tears reappeared as I cried myself to sleep. Why is Jacob Black so stubborn? Why?

A loud noise startled me out of my sleep. I sat up and looked around the room, my heart pounding in my chest as I clutched the covers to myself.

"Damn it." A familiar voice cursed behind the front door.

I got up looking at the living room clock, 3:18AM. I opened the front door to find Jacob sitting slumped over on the front porch steps grumbling to himself.

"Jake?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

He had on only a pair of worn cut off shorts, his hair was a mess and he looked very tired. He didn't respond to me, it was then that I looked down to see a half empty large bottle of Jack Daniels whisky on the ground beside him.

"Are you – drunk?" I asked incredulously.

Jake snorted loudly and brought the large bottle of whiskey to his lips. He took a large swig and then clinked the bottle down loudly on the ground. He looked back at me and snorted again, grumbling something in Quileute.

"What did you say?" I asked becoming a little annoyed.

He shows up here out of the blue after fighting with me and storming off and now he's drinking on my front porch like nothing ever happened. And why the hell is he ignoring me?

"I'm sorry I stormed off like I did." He spoke slowly, enunciating every word carefully.

"And what's with the bottle Jacob?" I asked frustrated. "Who did you get it from? Tell me!"

I wanted answers. I wanted to know who the hell gave it to him so I could give them a piece of my mind. It was probably stupid Jared, he was always trying to get Jake to drink. Jacob shot me a weird look and rolled his eyes.

"I bought it." He lifted the bottle and took another swig.

"What do you mean, _you bought it_? Didn't they card you?" I asked stupidly.

"Bella, please." That earned me another weird look and roll of his eyes.

Ok so it was a stupid question. Jake could have easily passed for twenty-seven or even thirty, but he was still legally under age. I looked at the offending bottle seething.

"Why the hell are you drinking?" I was so pissed.

"Wanted to test your theory." He said with a nonchalant shrug. "It was your idea, so I don't know why you're so pissed off little miss _squeaky clean reputation._" He rolled his eyes again.

He lifted the bottle to his lips and tipped it all the way back, chugging the last of the whisky. He teetered to the right and dropped the bottle loudly onto the ground with another grumble and more obscene sounding Quileute words.

"Do you plan on sitting out here and drinking all night?" My patience was wearing thin. "Because I'll be more than happy to leave you and Jack alone." I let out a loud exasperated huff. "Maybe I should call Charlie and have him arrest you for underage drinking. Teach you a lesson!" I pushed my hands onto my hips annoyed beyond any reason or doubt.

Jacob snorted. "S'all gone." He lifted the empty bottle and tipped it over the ground in demonstration.

"I have no idea why the hell you're even drinking Jacob! What the hell are you thinking?" I yelled out with frustration.

Jacob stood up slowly, teetering before he turned his massive body and look down on me. His face was angry.

"Do you honestly have to ask me that Bella?" He asked sternly.

"Oh please Jacob, don't you dare blame this on me."

I turned around and walked into the house irritated. I felt Jacob's hands grab the back of my arm roughly, his fingers digging into my skin painfully.

"Don't you walk away from me!" He roared turning me around roughly. "You don't get to walk away Bella."

He reached back and slammed the front door closed.

"Why Bella?" He yelled. "Why?"

"You're hurting me!" I tired to pull away from him, but he didn't let me go. He released some pressure off of my arm but still held me firmly in place.

"Why?" He asked calmer, his eyes looked tortured.

"I don't know what you're asking me Jacob." I said earnestly.

He ran his free hand through his hair, pulling at it with frustration and then looked me square in the eye.

"Why am I always second best?" He turned away from me.

My mouth dropped open, how could he think that?

"There's always going to be an Edward Cullen or a Mike Newton that's better than me." He groaned painfully and leaned his head against the wall with a muted thud.

"That's not true Jake – I…" I was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry."

I hung my head in defeat. Jacob slammed his hands on the wall loudly.

"Don't do that." Jacob's body snapped back around in a flash and had my body pinned against the wall. "Don't apologize Bella!" He growled. "_Show _me I'm wrong."

His eyes bore into mine, dark and fierce. My heart was pounding in my chest and my knees felt weak. I lifted my hands and ran them up his back, over his strong shoulder and neck and into his hair. I felt him relax ever so slightly.

"Jake…" My voice came out in a half strangled whisper.

"Don't talk," he commanded, "_show_ me Bella."

His body pressed into mine harder. I grabbed two fistfuls of his hair and pulled him into me roughly. Our lips collided, both of us gasping into each other's mouths fighting for dominance.

Jacob's hands wasted no time sliding over my body roughly grabbing at my waist and then my ass. I hissed loudly into his mouth as his right hand reached up and grabbed my left breast roughly.

"Show me." He groaned into my mouth as his fingers grazed over my nipple, making me moan out.

My hands went wild with desire, I slid them down his neck, scraping my nails roughly over his bare back and grabbing his ass firmly in them, squeezing hard. Jacob's fingers assaulted my nipple with the most delicious pinching torture. I groaned into his mouth with pleasure as my hands explored his firm muscular ass.

His hands slid around towards my back, sliding down to cup my ass firmly. With a loud primal grunt he lifted me up off of the ground and pressed me into his very obvious erection.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he pushed himself into me over and over again, grinding his hardness into my wanting core, making me pant and moan louder, my nails gripping into his shoulders until they broke skin.

Jacob hissed and pressed his lips up against mine, wasting no time in pushing his hot tongue into my wanting mouth. My hips instinctively grinding into his hardness, causing the friction my body had been desperately craving for so long, the tension in my stomach building at an alarming pace.

"Fuck." Jacob hissed and sucked in my bottom lip roughly.

He spun around and stumbled to the left, reaching out his arm he quickly steadied himself and grabbed a hold of me firmly. He stumbled up the stairs, kissing me roughly and then I felt myself falling as I was lay back onto my bed. He climbed on top of me panting wildly into my mouth.

"Is this what you want?" He groaned against my lips pressing his hardness into me, the thin material of my pajama bottoms getting more and more soaked with every stroke.

"Mmm… Yes…" I hissed into his mouth, my clit was on fire, Jake's hip bone pressing up against it, making me crazy with desire.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and rolled my hips up into his, matching his rhythm. Jacob gasped loudly and attacked my neck with his lips, sucking and nipping roughly at my sensitive skin, making me burn for him.

"Jake – please." I begged for mercy, I wanted him so bad. I needed him.

"Mmm… Please what?" He slowed his kisses on my neck, softly lapping at the soft skin under my ear.

God he was fucking teasing me and it wasn't fair. I needed more, I rolled my hips up into his stomach trying to ease some of the tension building between my legs. Jacob groaned and leaned down suddenly capturing my right nipple into his mouth. I gasped for air as I felt his teeth graze my nipple through my tank top. I grabbed two fistfuls of covers and arched my back hard against his body with a loud moan.

Jacob groaned against my nipple, causing a vibration that shot straight down to my clit, I was on fire. Jacob's lips slowed, ever so painfully, it wasn't fair, and how could he slow down now? Was he really trying to kill me? I lifted my head off of the pillow and looked down at Jacob.

"Are you kidding me?" I groaned out with frustration as I saw a very asleep Jacob. "Jake." I called out, but he didn't move.

I tried to wiggle my way out from underneath his massive body to no avail.

"Damn it, Jacob!" I yelled out pushing at him trying to move his body off of me.

Jacob grumbled something incoherent and rolled off of me. A loud snore shook my bed. I turned to look at him frustrated and now angry. I smacked my hand loudly on his chest. He continued to snore even louder.

"Ugh!" I let out a frustrated huff of air and turned around, curling up on my side.

My heart was still beating fast and I was still panting. I looked back at Jacob, his mouth slightly open as he snored deep in sleep.

"Damn it!" I hissed under my breath and squeezed my eyes tightly, willing my body to calm down.

I eventually calmed and drifted off to sleep. When I woke up I reached for Jacob but found an empty bed instead. I sat up sleepily and yawned deeply.

"Jake?" I yawned, but received no answer.

I looked around my bright, empty room and saw a white piece of paper folded on the nightstand. I leaned over and grabbed it, slowly unfolding it and reading:

_Bella, _

_I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. I was drunk and pissed, but what I did was wrong. _

_I'll understand if you never want to speak with me again._

_I'm sorry,_

_Jake_

I sat there in my bed and read the note over and over again, bewildered and dumbfounded.

* * *

_**PLEASE REVIEW :) THANK YOU!**_

_**A/N:**_

_**Hello my lovelies. Sorry it took me so long to update this chapter. I had this in mind for a long time, so please don't be too pissed at me. *smiles* **_

_**Life has caught up to me, I have had some family and health emergencies to deal with, so I hope you all will bear with my sporadic updates. I will work on the stories and chapters as best as I can. I am not abandoning The Sun On My Skin or The Club, life just got very complicated and until it slows down, I will need your understanding. **_

_**I hope to keep you all entertained and happy with many chapters in the future. I am busy at work on the next chapter of The Club. And remember, Jake's 21**__**st**__** birthday party is coming up shortly here. *wicked smiles***_

_**Thank you all for you kind reviews! I hope to update again soon for you all. Love you all!**_


	9. GHOSTS IN THE CLOSET

**OFFICIAL THE SUN ON MY SKIN MUSIC VIDEO IS NOW POSTED ON MY MAIN AUTHOR'S PAGE GO CHECK IT OUT! THANKS TO MAIQUE20 ON TWITTER! youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=z3AUbX09a8g**

**GHOSTS IN THE CLOSET**

This wasn't happening. There just was no way that he thought he took advantage of me. I clearly wanted what he did, why the hell was he being so stupid and irrational? I closed my fist tightly around the note crumpling it with a frustrated grunt.

"Damn it Jacob!"

I rolled over and grabbed by cell phone dialing his house number quickly. The phone rang and rang and rang… I'd been on Jake to get an answering machine at home for the longest time, but he refused saying it was an unnecessary expense and that he'd never use it anyway because he had his cell and the shop's number. After the twentieth ring I hit end and dialed his cell. His voicemail immediately picked up.

"_Hey you've reached Jake and Pack Mechanics leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can." _

The sound of his voice punching a hole through my gut, I felt completely winded. I hit end once again with a huff of desperation. I needed to speak with him, now! I dialed the shop.

"_Jake and Pack's Mechanics if it's broke we can fix it. How can I help you?"_ Embry's chipper voice answered the line.

"Embry!" I sighed with relief.

"_Bella? Uh… Hey." _His voice changed drastically, there was a harshness that replaced the sunny voice which had answered the phone a second before.

"Is Jake there?" I ran my hand through my hair nervously chewing on my bottom lip waiting for his answer.

After a long pause Embry finally spoke. _"Uh, no… Sorry Bells. He's… off today." _

I could clearly tell he was lying to me, but I didn't understand why?

"Embry please, why are you acting this way, if he's there please let me speak with him." I whined out in frustration.

"_I'm sorry Bella."_ He let out a deep breathy sigh. _"Look, I gotta go, I've got customers. I'm… I'm really sorry. Bye."_

"No… wait!" I pleaded but the line went dead.

I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. I quickly swiped at them holding my phone in my hands. I dialed Jacob's cell number again in hopes that maybe, just maybe he'd answer this time. Of course the call went straight to voicemail again.

"Jacob please, don't do this." I pleaded but my words were choked by the stream of tears that now was flowing freely down my face, I hung up the phone and buried my face in my pillow.

Why? Why was he doing this? Did we really screw things up by trying to be more than just friends? The tears spilled down my face and I was helpless to stop them. What would I do if I lost my best friend?

I was desperate to feel anything other than the sting of rejection as I drove down the long winding highway to a place I hadn't visited in a very long time. The driveway was almost unrecognizable as I passed it and had to turn back in. The trucks engine rumbled loudly as I came to a halt in front of the ghost house from my past.

I took in a deep shaky breath as I cut the engine and sat there looking out the truck's window at the old Cullen house. It has been five years since this abandoned cold house has seen any life in it. The city recorders office still had a copy of the deed on file, it was never sold, never reoccupied, it was just left there to fade into the overgrown shrubbery.

The vast windows were covered in dark drapes, no sign of light and no sign of life, completely and utterly empty…Abandoned, just like I had been abandoned so many years ago by Ed… I couldn't bring myself to even think his name. I shivered at the memory of _Them_. What had possessed me to come here and see this place again after so long?

Reaching over I grabbed the handle and opened the door, my breath trembling harder as my feet hit the ground. _Turn back Bella, get back in your truck and drive away now._ My subconscious nagged silently at me in the background. Clutching one hand to my chest and wrapping the other tightly around my stomach I ignored my subconscious and proceeded to walk up the front porch. I looked up to the dirt covered paint and then back down to my feet.

Why could the ghosts that haunted this place not leave me alone? Why were _They_ ever so present in every day of my life. A small opening in the window caught my eye as I noticed that the drape was drawn back slightly. With morbid curiosity I stepped forward to look inside.

A dark dreary room welcomed my eyes, large pieces of furniture stood covered in white drop cloths, and in the center of the room a large covered grand piano. My arms tightened around myself at the sight of it. My entire body trembling uncontrollably as the memories came rushing back. _A crooked smile, a haunting lullaby being played over and over again, the soft humming of his voice. Edward…_

My heart was pounding in my chest and I was hyperventilating, I felt nauseous and woozy as the memories continued to play in slow motion in my head. Why – oh why had I come back here? A loud snapping sound in the forest broke my haunted trance. I quickly looked around at my surroundings. Another snap followed by bushes rustling. I felt all the blood rush out of my head as everything went black and faded away. No more ghosts, no more memories… Good bye Edward Cullen…

My eyes slowly opened, I was laying comfortably on a soft surface. I felt a little lightheaded still but that was quickly replaced by confusion as I felt a pillow beneath my head. I opened my eyes slowly and sat up.

"Easy…" A deep fuzzy baritone called out.

The sensation of a large hot hand place on the small of my back for support. I blinked once, twice and then again trying to focus on my surroundings. I was back in my room, and in my own bed. But how did I get here? My head slowly looked down to see a strong russet arm holding me up. My eyes traveled up the arm to meet the very worried look of Jacob Black.

His eyes narrowing as my eyes met his. His head tilted slightly studying my expression with concern.

"Are… are you ok?" He asked softly stroking his hand on the small of my back.

"You – you left me." I felt the tears flood back into my eyes. "You left." I shook my head from side to side, my body trembling once again.

"I'm sorry Bells." His arms encased me protectively against his body. "It was stupid of me to do, shhh honey don't cry, I'm here now. I'm sorry" His soft lips trailing hot kisses across my forehead. "I'm not going to do that ever again, I promise. I'm so sorry Bella, please forgive me."

I nuzzled my cheek into him inhaling his earthy musky scent, relishing his comforting heat. I felt his head shake above mine.

"What the hell were you thinking going back there?" I could hear the disappointment and hurt in his voice.

"I'm sorry." I managed to squeak out as the tears flooded back into my eyes.

Why had I gone back? Had _They_ not caused me enough pain? Was I really that masochistic that I enjoyed hurting myself voluntarily?

"Bells? Why did you go back there?" He asked a little sterner.  
"God I don't know Jake…" I was sobbing into his bare chest, I could taste my tears in my mouth. "I don't know…"

"I'm sorry." He pulled me into him tighter. "I'm so sorry honey, shhh… don't cry. Please don't cry Bella."

He continued cooing words of comfort into my ear, lovingly stroking my hair with one hand and cradling me into his body protectively with the other hand. I cried, until I had no more tears in me, all the bottled up emotions that had been festering inside of me for years finally unleashed. And Jacob, my sweet, sweet Jacob there to hold me patiently through it all, never once questioning my madness.

When my thoughts had finally calmed I was able to compose myself long enough to mutter a _Thank You_ into his chest. I felt Jacob's chest rise slowly and then fall with a deep sigh.

"S'ok, no need to thank me. S'probably my fault that this happened." He sighed again regretfully.

I looked up at his saddened face and placed my hand on his cheek.

"How did you know where I was?" I asked studying his face.

"I didn't." He cleared his throat and continued. "I was at the shop and I couldn't concentrate for shit after what I did to you…" His eyes shifted nervously, "And then you called and I felt even worse for making Embry lie to you and tell you I wasn't there." He looked at me with regretful eyes.

So he _had_ told Embry to lie to me. That stung, deeper than he could imagine. I bit my bottom lip nervously. The ache of rejection seething deep in the pit of my stomach.

"So, I left Embry in charge and went for a run. I really didn't know where the hell I was going, I just wanted to run and clear my thoughts." He groaned deeply – regretfully and continued. "We patrol that old house from time to time – to _make sure_..." He didn't have to finish his sentence for me to understand what he meant. The pack was keeping a look out for _Their_ return.

The hole in my chest felt like it was tearing open painfully.

"I caught your scent around the lee…. _Their_ house and went to investigate." Jacob's eyes studied mine. "It surprised the fuck out of me to see you there Bella and I slipped up, my only intention was to observe – I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry. And then you fainted and it scared the hell out of me. So, I phased back and after I made sure you were ok, I drove you home." Another deep sigh.

So that's how I got home, Jacob had stumbled on me in my moment of weakness and found me in _enemy_ territory, and regardless of how much I hurt him by being there he still managed to come to my rescue and bring me back home safely.

He must hate me.

"I – I didn't mean to cause problems." My voice sounded wrong, shaky and squeaky. "I don't know why I went there Jake. I don't know why…" I trailed off.

Jacob's hands cupped my face softly as he looked deep into my eyes.

"What are you talking about?" His sweet smile warmed me. I hadn't realized that I was cold, I shivered involuntarily.  
"You must think I'm horrible for going back _there_." I looked away from him in shame.  
"No Bells, never." He lifted my head towards his. "Look at me." Something in the tone of his voice, his Alpha command that made me shiver and yield to his requests every time. I looked up. "I understand your need for closure Bells. Believe me, I would never try and take that away from you."

His large thumbs softly stroked my cheeks, his smile sweet and warm. His eyes full of sincerity, underlined in pain. I couldn't ignore the pain behind his eyes and it was killing me to know that I was the cause of it.

"I believe you Jake. And I am thankful to you." A weak smile played on my lips. "I know the whole subject hurts you, I see it in your eyes." I felt the moisture in my eyes threatening to come back.

"Don't do that." He shook my head slightly. "Don't worry about me, I'm a big boy I can take care of myself." He said sternly. "I know you care about me Bella and believe me when I say that _that is more than enough_ to make me the happiest man on this planet." He leaned in suddenly and kissed my lips, softly and sweetly. "I would rather have one moment with you in this life than to never have had one at all." He whispered against my lips kissing me again.

My heart ached and soared at the same time. I managed to break away from his kiss for just a moment to speak.

"You're scaring me Jake…" I admitted wearily.

His eyes searched mine for answers. "Why?"

"You make it sound like you're saying good bye. I – I don't like goodbye's." I looked down saddened by the thought, the tears sliding down my cheeks freely now.

Jacob's hands lifted my face once again so that our eyes met. His large hot thumbs brushing away my tears gently.

"I'm not going anywhere Bella Swan. Stop being an idiot." A huge grin, _my grin_ formed on his lips, instantly melting my worries away.

"I'm not either Jake…" I whispered breathlessly.

His lips came down upon mine again, soft, sweet and gentle. His tongue sweeping across mine slowly and without urgency, I felt all of Jacob's insecurity and anger dissolve into love in that one kiss. I pulled his shoulders craving the feeling of his body against mine. He complied hesitantly laying me back on my bed and sliding his body over mine, but never fully placing his whole weight down on me.

I was panting into his mouth. "What's wrong?" I kissed his lips urgently wanting more.

"Bells…" He groaned almost painfully. "I – I just can't yet." He stopped suddenly.

I looked up at him, his eyes studying my expression with remorse. I didn't understand. Why the need for the constant breaks? Why couldn't we just be together already?

"I'm sorry." He sighed.

"I – I'm confused Jake." I replied honestly. "Don't you want me?"

He sighed with exasperation. "That's the problem Bella I want you so fucking much it hurts." He rolled off of me and sat up next to me. "You're testing my self control and it's killing me Bells. Killing me…" He trailed off.

"But… I want you to." I quickly scrambled up into his lap, straddling my legs over his. My hands reaching for his face. "Can't you see that Jake?"

I studied his face as I pushed the limits and went for it before I lost my nerve. As seductively as I could manage, I bit down on my bottom lip and rolled my hips against his very obvious erection. Jacob's head fell back with a deep painful groan, his hands suddenly shooting up and locking on my hips holding me firmly in place so I couldn't move.

"Bells… what are you doing?" He said with a low groan, his eyes closed.

Feeling his grip on me loosen I rolled my hips against him again, moaning lightly at the sensation.

"Making us feel good… Don't you like it?" I rolled my hips against him again, the friction making my entire body quiver.

Jacob's hands once again squeezing my hips, holding me firmly and not allowing me to continue.

"Bella…" He panted my name. "I – I don't want our relationship to be strictly physical. I…"

He groaned again and lifted me off of his lap, sitting me down next to him. He took a moment to wipe his hands over his face and groan out in protest again. He squeezed his eyes tightly and then opened them to look at me with the most amazing deep, lustful intensity. My body shivered involuntarily as I took him in.

"I want to work on our relationship, not only sex. Sex is easy Bella and _believe_ me when I say that I don't think you'll be disappointed once it happens." A sly smile played on his lips. "I just need to do the relationship thing with you first. Is that too much to ask for?"

His eyes studied mine carefully. I sighed in defeat.

"No… not at all Jacob." Truth was I really did understand why he was requesting this from me.

Jacob and I had spent the last five years being best friends, we never took it to another level, and now I totally understood why he didn't want to jump into the sack with me. Even though our bodies craved each other so badly, we couldn't make that mistake, not so soon.

"We… we're ok… right?" His eyes saddened the slightest bit at his question.

I guess some insecurities lie too deep to touch. I know Jacob is scared that I will hurt him or leave him one day. I just need to work on assuring him that he is the one I chose and that _They _are never coming back. _He_… I couldn't bring myself to think of _His_ name… _He_ will never be a part of my life or a threat to Jacob again.

"Hello… Come back to me Bells…" Jacob's hot hand on my cheek brought me back from my train of thought. I looked at him and blinked. "There you are. I thought I lost you again."

"No… I'm – I'm sorry I'm still a little fuzzy headed from fainting." I lied. "Yes Jake we're ok." I smiled weakly.

"Maybe you should rest." He fluffed the pillow for me and patted the bed. "Can I get you anything?" He smiled sweetly.

"I'm a little hungry." I felt my stomach growl just then.

"You know I suck ass at cooking." He chuckled deeply. "And I'm not about to make you cook." He said sternly. "So… is pizza ok?"

He looked at me with the most adorable crooked smile. I nodded as he dug through his back pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

"Yeah, I'd like to order two extra large meat lovers pizzas with extra cheese. No anchovies." He winked at me knowing that I hate anchovies. "Oh and a chef salad." He lipped silently _for you_, always so sweet and thoughtful and never forgetting to think of me.

God I didn't deserve him in my life. But I was happy to have him there and now that he was mine, I didn't intend to let him go anywhere. After he finished ordering he snapped his phone closed and shoved it back into his pocket.

"It'll be here in about 30." He licked his lips invitingly.

I couldn't resist swooping in for a kiss.

"What was that for?" He asked with a sexy smile.

"Couldn't resist sorry. Now that you've let me taste your tongue it's kinda hard to stay away from it when you show it off." I said with chagrin.

Jacob's deep throaty chuckle filled the room. He looked at me and rolled his eyes playfully.

"Silly Bella." Another deep throaty chuckle.

Jacob's laughter suddenly stilled as he studied me with darkened serious eyes. He leaned in to kiss me one more time gently, taking his time nipping my bottom lip with his teeth, then sweeping his tongue over it, making me shiver and gasp into his mouth. I could feel his lips smile against mine as his mouth parted and his tongue enveloped mine, softly sucking it into his mouth.

Pulling away from him and panting, "Ok Jacob, we need to stop…" Running my fingers through his hair pulling him closer to me unable to resist another peck. "I'm really getting turned on." Crushing my lips to his once again, unable to get enough of him.

Another deep breathy chuckle against my lips.

"Bells… honey…" He stopped to caress my face with his right hand. "We're just kissing." A big grin forming on his lips. "But if you need me to stop… I will." He leaned in to kiss my lips one more time, a soft opened mouthed peck, and then pulled away with a sweet smile. "I'm happy that you're comfortable enough with me to tell me when you need me to stop. That's important in any relationship." A wicked smile crossed his lips. "And it helps to know that you want me so much."

I felt my face get hot at his words. I was very comfortable with Jacob, but now I suddenly felt really embarrassed for saying that I had been turned on. And by the smirk on his face he knew exactly the reason why I was blushing.

"S'ok you know, you turn me on too." He winked casually. "No need to be embarrassed about it."

If I could find a large rock to crawl under right about now, I would. The more embarrassed I got the more amused Jacob seemed to be, chuckling freely at my awkwardness. The doorbell rang out signaling our food's arrival. Jacob quickly bolted downstairs to get the food.

"Oh thank God." I sighed with relief.

I started to get up to go downstairs but Jacob appeared in the doorway carefully balancing two large pizza boxes, some paper plates, napkins, cups, forks, a huge salad, and a two liter bottle of Coke. I quickly reached over and cleared off the bedside table.

"Thanks Bells." He put the pizza boxes down on the table and the rest of the things on the bed.

Jacob quickly sat down on the bed placing one box of pizza in front of himself and the other in front of me. He was joking right? I looked at the giant box and then at him as he opened his box and pulled out along stringy slice of pizza and shoved it into his mouth. He groaned in satisfaction as he chewed with his eyes closed.

"Eat." His eyes suddenly opened to look at me then at the box in front of me.

"It's too much." I protested.

Jacob rolled his eyes freely at me and shoved another bite into his mouth. I watched a little too attentively as the muscles in his throat contracted as he chewed, his jaw tightening then slacking with every movement.

"You plan on eating or just sitting there and staring at me all day? I thought you were hungry?"

Damn he called me out. Get it together Bella, its only pizza, not porn. I close my eyes and shook my head slightly.

"I – yeah…" I fumbled nervously for words but decided on grabbing a slice and taking a bite to spare myself from further embarrassment. "Oushhh!"

I cried out painfully as the scorching hot sauce and cheese hit the roof of my mouth.

"Be careful, it's hot. Damn it." His eyes filling with concern.

Jacob quickly fumbled to open and pour me a glass of Coke. I took it eagerly and chugged it down, cooling off my mouth a bit.

"Are you ok?" His eyes searched my face franticly.

I couldn't help laughing at his nervous display, which earned me an eye roll.

"I'm sure that pizza burn to your mouth hardly constitutes the calling out of the National Guard Jacob." I rolled my eyes at his over protectiveness.

I mean, come on, it was pizza for crying out loud. Jacob's eyebrows furrowed and he took a deep breath in before shoving a fresh slice of pizza into his mouth, biting half of it off.

"Isn't yours hot?" I asked stupidly.

"Part wolf." He pointed at himself and grinned proudly. "It's burning the fuck out of my mouth, but I really don't care, it's damn good and I heal fast, so the way I see it, it's an even tradeoff." He shoved the other half of the slice of pizza into his mouth and proceeded to chew making these obscene, satisfied moaning noises.

His eyes closed as he continued to chew on and moan lewdly enjoying his mouthful of pizza. My mouth dropped open on its on free will as I watched him, his moans making my body tingle. I crossed my legs involuntarily to try and ease some of the tension building in my core. Did he honestly not have a clue how damn sexy he was and what those obscene noises did to me? I felt myself get wet with desire.

Jacob's nostrils flared and his close eyes snapped open, he looked over at me – his dark brown eyes darkening as he swallowed the remaining pizza in his mouth back roughly. It was almost as if he knew what I had been thinking. I felt my face flush under his gaze. There's no way he could know what I had been thinking, he's not a mind reader like Ed… nope, not going to say _His_ name or even think it.

Jacob's face remained unchanged, he kept on looking at me with darkened, intense eyes, almost as if he were in a trance. Feeling a little self conscious and uncomfortable I took a small bite off of my pizza.

"Mmm… this is good." I tried to break the tension a bit with casual conversation.

As if someone had hit him in the face, Jacob snapped out of what ever he was thinking and looked at me with confusion.

"And it's cool enough now." I raise my slice of pizza in demonstration.

"Uh… yeah… sure, sure. Told you it was good." He winked casually and reached into the box for another slice.

We ate the rest of our pizza in silence. After we were done Jacob graciously picked everything up and put it away. He walked back into the room whistling a happy tune and plopped down on the bed next to me.

"Ahhh…" He groaned rubbing his stomach. "I'm stuffed." He smiled up at me sweetly.

My eyes however, had a hard time turning their focus away from the hand rubbing his perfectly sculpted stomach.

"God you got it bad Bella." He taunted playfully slowing his hand down and rubbing his stomach more sensually.

"What ever Jacob. I got it bad and you're damn conceited." I just rolled my eyes and smacked his chest playfully.

He caught my hand suddenly and put it on his stomach. My mouth dropped open.

"I know you want to touch " He shot me a crooked flirty smile and proceeded to rub my hand on his stomach, flexing his muscles tightly.

My face turned hotter than the Arizona sun as I watched with wide eyes what he was doing to himself with my hand. My stomach clenching hard as I felt every hard ripple of his stomach slide smoothly under my palm.

"There, you happy now?" Jacob released my hand with a breathy chuckle.

The knot of lust in my throat stopped me from saying anything, my mouth was wide open but nothing would come out. I panicked and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm tired now." I quickly lay down and turned my back to him.

"You sure you're ok?" He asked softly.

"Yup. Tired, very, very… tired." I shut my eyes tightly and mentally willed the flame in my cheeks to go away.

"Oh—kay." Jacob's confusion was apparent in his tone.

The room then got very quiet the only sound was that of my heart beating a million beats per minute in my ears. I felt a warm hand slide around my waist as Jacob pulled my body back against his in a spooning position. I froze.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." My voice squeaked out.

He sighed loudly. "Can't I hold you while you sleep anymore? Or is this going to be weird now?" He asked point blank.

"No, no – zero weirdness." I said curtly.

"Then why is your heart racing Bella? Do I make you nervous now?" He asked sternly.

"No Jake, that's not it at all. Honest. It's just that it's different now." I turned my face in an attempt at burying my shame into the pillow. "It's difficult to explain." My voice muffled by the pillow.

He paused before speaking again. "I know why it's difficult for you now." He sighed. "I'm sorry Bella. I – want to make things less difficult."

I felt my whole body go rigid as his hand that was around my waist slowly slid to rub up and down my stomach. I could feel his hot breath in my hair, my arousal growing at an alarming pace.

"Jake…" I shifted nervously.

"Shhh…" His nose nuzzled into my neck causing me to tingle. "Let me do this for you Bella. Please…" His hot lips made contact with my skin causing goose bumps to form over my entire body. "I don't want you to be frustrated with me anymore." He groaned against my skin. "I can't fucking stand it Bells… Shhh… Relax."

I swallowed back the knot of lust that had formed in my throat. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to say something, but the way his lips were kissing my neck and the way his hand was rubbing my stomach was too much, I was weakened and mute. I closed my eyes and let out a deep moaning sigh.

"That's it… Let me take care of you." His deep husky voice cooed against my skin.

Jacob's hand slid down my stomach to rub my hipbone, my hips automatically responding to his touch and grinding into his hand as I let out a hiss of pleasure. God he was making me crazy, the heat of his hand penetrating the thick denim material and instantly warming my skin everywhere he touched.

My body was on fire, on instinct I tried to turn to face him but was steadied by his arm and hand around me.

"Don't move." The Alpha command in his voice rang out, causing me to immediately yield to his instructions. "Just let me do this for you Bella, you don't have to do anything, just enjoy." He whispered against my neck.

His hot tongue sweeping over my neck again and again, I was panting so loud and being tortured so good.

"God Jake…" I groaned as his hand slid down over my center, gently massaging his fingers over the denim.

"Feel good?" I could feel his lips smiling against my neck.

"Mmm…" I moaned lightly.

His lips locked onto my neck and he sucked my skin in roughly causing me to yelp out pleasurably.

"Mmm good girl." He cooed against my skin soothing the sting with his tongue.

His hand reaching up to undo the button of my jeans, my breath hitched as he then pulled down on my zipper. My heart beating faster than before, I suddenly was mortified and self conscious to have him touch me, even though there was nothing more that I wanted at this very moment.

"Jake… I…" I tried to protest.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked in a deep breathy whisper, his tongue licking on my earlobe and making my thoughts fuzzy while his fingers dipped into my panties, caressing my skin.

I hissed out once again and ground my hips into his hand. Jacob paused for a moment and seeing no further protest he slid his hand all the way down and cupped my mound. My mouth dropped open with a small lust strangled squeak.

"Mmm… so wet for me…" He groaned sliding his fingers over my slick folds. "I fucking love how much you want me Bella." His fingers dipped into my folds sliding up and down and finally resting on my swollen clit. "Such a sweet little hard swollen clit for me to play with…" He groaned and flicked my clit several times, causing my thighs to shake involuntarily. I let out a loud moan. "That's it… Let me make it feel good. Just like this…" His finger pressed down and started to run in slow grinding circles.

This was so new and so, so good, the combination of his words and his fingers were making my entire body quivery with pleasure. Jacob's dirty mouth was such a turn on.

"Ja-cob…" I moaned his name deeply as my hips started to grind, matching his rhythm.

"Come on Bella, don't hold back." His fingers slid down towards my entrance and dipped inside of me, pumping in and out slowly, filling me deliciously as his thumb quickly found my clit grinding against it.

"Fuck…" I hissed.

"Mmm… Yes that's it honey… Does this pussy feel good?" Dirty talking Jacob was making me fucking crazy.

"Fuck yes…" I moaned louder as I felt my body rushing, the familiar delicious ache of my orgasm building with each stroke of his hand.

"Does she want to come on my fingers?" He asked confidently increasing his speed, his fingers stroking me faster and deeper.

"Oh God…" My whole body shuddered and I contracted once against his fingers.

"Mmm…. You're so fucking close to it. I can feel it Bella. Don't hold back… Feel good for me."

His mouth latched onto the soft spot of my neck sucking and biting roughly as his fingers started to thrust into me, his thumb circling my clit harder and faster. My thighs shaking uncontrollably and my breath in loud quick pants as I neared my climax.

"Oh God… Oh God… Fuuuuck!" My body arched into his hand as the wave of pleasure seared through my entire body, my walls contracting against his fingers, my juices flowing freely as my orgasm swept through me.

"Mmm… Good girl… cum…" He coached me through my orgasm making my toes curl and my stomach tighten so good.

"Fuck Jake…" I couldn't catch my breath before another wave of pleasure hit me like a ton of bricks, my entire body quaking in its aftermath.

Jacob's hand slowed to a soft grind, his fingers still inserted inside of me softly stroking my g-spot milking the last of my pleasure out of me until I couldn't stand it and had to push his away from my sensitive spot. I lay there in complete euphoria panting loudly, my body tingling and completely relaxed.

"Feel good?" He chuckled deeply against my neck.

"Mmm…" I couldn't find my words, I just nodded weakly.

"See… I told you, you wouldn't be disappointed." He said with another deep chuckle against my neck.

"You're amazing…" I panted out… "Fuck…" I shivered again at the thought of how good I had just felt.

"Did you have enough?" His hand slowly crept back into my panties, his fingers sliding over my wet lips.

I yelped and squirmed away from his touch.

"I'll take that as a yes." He chuckled.

I giggled at the voice inside of my head said _TADA! Ladies and Gentleman, Jacob Black is a sex God!_

"What are you all cute and giggly for?" He asked playfully, turning me around and pulling me into his chest.  
"Oh… nothing, just feeling silly." I smiled up at him.

"Well as long as it wasn't a giggle at my performance – that can be real damaging to the male ego you know." He smiled big.

_TADA_. The voice sang out again.

"No no, not you at all, and – your performance brought the house down." I felt my cheeks flush.

Jacob's face beamed. "Well I can't wait for a repeat performance."

"Neither can I." My face got hotter.

He lifted his fingers to his mouth and licked them off seductively. His mouth puckering perfectly as his fingers slid out slick and clean.

"Mmm… You taste so sweet." He smiled.

He leaned in and kissed me gently, his tongue softly massaging mine as I tasted my essence lingering on his tongue.

"No more frustrated Bella ok?" He whispered huskily against my lips.

I shook my head no allowing a small deep moan to escape as his tongue swept over my bottom lip.

"Promise?" He groaned.

"I promise Jake…" I smiled against his lips.

_**PLEASE REVIEW**_

_**A/N:**_

_**Ok lovlies, I know, I suck for leaving you all for so long, but I hope I made up for it at the end of this chapter. *giggles* There is a reason for me leaving you all, I've been busy setting up a Twilight Based Role Play sight called Twilight Desires. You should check it out guys! **_

_**(http): /twilightdesires(dot) ning (dot)com**_

_**I'll add a clickable link on my author's page. **_

_**Twilight Desires is a MATURE Role Play site where I play the role of Jacob Black and have my imprint Nessie as my lover and mate. We have a ton of fun *wink wink, cough cough***_

_**We have plenty of open roles so come check us out and if you decide to join us, let them know Jacob Black sent ya.**_

_**I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I hope you will write a lovely review to let me know what you thought. **_

_**The new chapter is under construction as we speak. Can you say… birthday party? *grins***_

_**Thank you all for reading! See you soon. **_


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